Jun 30, 2008
The funny faker
Don’t you just hate these guys who have “fake” written all over their body? What about those who keep injecting steroids and love to compliment one another: “Uh, dude! You gotz a fit azz!”, while talking like a mini - Arnold? Well… I know I can’t really stand them.
And today I witnessed how one of these cyborg-dudes was silenced by a skinny girl (she was a quarter of his size). I laughed like a mad man and instantly knew I had to share.
So… I was drinking a hot frappe coffee during my lunch break, admiring the girls and their adorable summer clothing (I had no intentions of flirting yet, though – last week was enough for me, for the moment, of course). Anyway… just a few tables away was this guy: huge (as in muscle-huge), bald and, I must admit, a quite scary fellow. He was sipping some natural juice from a bottle and probably had his hormones skating and felt the need to get a girl.
A short, very skinny girl was passing by his table when he decided to be a “male”: he reached out his had, like a barrier and stopped her by saying something smart like “Hey, babe!”. Even though I would’ve probably pissed my pants in such a moment, the girl had a great, priceless reaction any date fanatic would’ve applauded. She said “They should photograph you and show the pic to the kids and say ‘Don’t do steroids!’”know how to flirt! (and I’m one of them :D) Thank God I’m not pumping my biceps’ too!
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Image credits: Robert Kopecky
Jun 29, 2008
Must Reads #1
It was a busy week. All the bad things are now forgotten and I only have the good things to count: a mini-vacation which was close to becoming a total failure turned “gave” me three new names to write on my list (which means that, since I started, no less than six girls found the pleasure together with Mr Fast). Which is great – something I was not expecting when I first started. Actually, I was not expecting for My Girl Quest to have any success at all. But it seems that I was wrong – flirting and dating are like riding a bicycle – you can never forget that.
So, without further ado, here are the must reads for those who have not visited my blog lately:
First, about the girls: I had an easy pray to start with, then I began my vacation by visiting a neighbor’s dark room, I continued with a Marilyn Monroe wannabe and ended a mad vacation with the two-faced girl (chronologically, you can read the entire story here, here and here)
During this time, my greatness managed to find no less than two flirting tips (the “brutally honest” approach and the club-related one). If these things don’t work, vote for my new gadget project: the flirting gadget. Or just forget about the whole thing and enjoy the sexiest Euro 2008 girls, as a bonus! Let's hope the next week will be as great as this past one. I'm going back to work though, so I doubt it...
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Image credits: Anne Belov
Jun 28, 2008
The end of a love story… or something
As I said, I had some really mixed feelings for A. She was loveable and angelic but, as I was going to find out, she was far from being an angel. And I tend to believe that E. was right to feel mad on her (just to keep up with the captions, E. is the neighbor I did earlier this week and part of the reason why T and I don’t talk anymore)
Anyway… it was proved to me that A. was quite a devil. After the strange night we had, I woke up feeling pretty OK: I was still feeling bad following the punches received from the drunk guy, but all in all was OK. I wasn’t in the mood to flirt, though… but there was no reason to do that, after all: I already had the girl, A. and there are no rules against spending more than one night with the same chick, right? Especially if she does a great job at being a… female, you know? So I wanted to spend a few more hours with her, maybe do her one more time, then get my ass in the car and drive home and forget about that place. Again, God had other plans!
When I woke up she was already awake, naked, looking at her body in the mirror and putting on some make-up. Of course, I found the view really exciting (duuh!) and thought it was my lucky morning, but she told me to go take a shower and prepare to have some fun. She said we still had a lot to do. And this scared me a bit. “We”? “a lot to do”? What the hell? We barely knew each other, we had NOTHING to do except make up, kiss and say goodbye. But, since I’m not that alpha male I sometimes pretend to be… I said “OK” and went to take the shower.
I found out the plans: we had to go eat the breakfast out (we did), we had to leave the car in the parking lot and go for a walk to look at some clothes (we did, but I did not buy her anything – and she didn’t seem to be affected by that at the moment), we had to stop at a fancy pub and drink beer (?!? yes, she wanted that and we did it!), then walk a bit more because “that’s what people do”… and stuff like that. For at least four hours we did strange things, couple's things, something we shouldn’t have done. I was afraid she was going to take me meet her family soon!
Instead, she told me something like: “How much can one drink without getting to the hospital?” and basically invited me to another pub to find out the answer. Don’t get me wrong… I totally liked her attitude, but it was scary as hell what she was doing – it’s not something you do with strangers, right? Still… there was something pushing me from behind and I accepted her invite and went to “get wasted”.
I have no idea what pub was that or where was it compared to her apartment, but every single body there seemed to know my angelic A. And, even worse, she seemed to know everybody – but that was not something to make me think there was something fishy somewhere. I mean… people have friends, and I’m not the one to judge! So we kept drinking. And we kept doing it until we were pretty drunk. And we talked. A lot. And you know how people tell strange secrets from their past when they’re drunk? Well… the same did A.
She admitted to me that she was a kind of an escort in the past – she had no “manager”, she was on her own. No contracts, no direct payment, only “let’s flirt, let’s do it, buy me a present”. Something that is, unfortunately, a common thing in my country and many girls do that. A. was one of those – she admitted that (no, don't think prostitution, it's not exactly the same thing). But she also admitted that with me “it was different”. Back then, because I was drunk, I believed her and felt kind of honored. To have a tramp like you is a real achievement! To flirt with her, pick her up and do her no strings attached – it’s a huge achievement. So I was feeling like a real man back then and, naive, I believed her.
Eventually she told me to pay for the drinks and go home. She said had a little “treat” for me. But, before all that, she told me that she would love to have something from me… something to make keep me alive in her memories. And I was drunk and agreed to buy her a present. Big mistake. Because that was everything she wanted from me, actually (well… at least she offered something in exchange… but it is still not very encouraging and definitely not something to lose a friend for).
Anyway… to finish this post and the story (I realize that I am absolutely boring, but it’s the fault of the tiredness I have accumulated): when we were heading from the shop to her apartment for me to get that "treat", I was stopped by the police. I was pretty drunk and they almost suspended my driver’s license, but I managed to get away with that. At home we had some great, great fun and she kept saying me that I was different, that she was sure we could work it out and start a relationship.
I was going to leave the next day, though. And she was not going to cry. Now she has a nice gift. I just have another girl’s name to write on My Girl Quest's list. And a bunch of really nice pictures of her (sorry for all the blur, but that’s how it should be done, …)
I’m still alive (part II)
And it’s not only that I’m still alive, but I am also home. Finally! And, for at least 24 hours, I don’t even want to think about dating, flirting, girls and my plan to have the fun in a teenager's way :D. I just want to jump into the bed (alone) and sleep and forget about everything that happened to me during this short mini-vacation. Of course, I shall tell you first as much of the story as I can (and it all seems to have happened years ago…)
So… after I was literary thrown out of the apartment, mad to the bone, I wanted to jump into the car and drive home, as any sane person would probably do. However, A. was pretty pissed off, too, and she invited me to have a drink: “I know a cheap bar with cheap booze to get us wasted. It’s close to my apartment”. Now… as mad as a male can be, he cannot ignore or refuse the innocent and subtle “let’s go f*** our brains out” from a beautiful girl. Basically, we had started something in T's apartment and we wanted to finish the "job" somehow. So I have accepted her invitation.
Bad decision!
Because that bar we went to, even though an indeed really cheap one, was filled with drunken people who got their testosterone level to skyrocket when they saw me and A. (uhm... basically, I'm sure that happened because they saw her, not me :D - she is indeed a really good looking girl – though, I am sure it didn’t matter too much for the guys in the bar). Of course, I noticed that instantly and so did she, but she still insisted we should at least drink something before leaving. And I accepted to stay there, since she made me understand that we were going to spend the night at her place. Oh, sacrifices...
However, the guys started to get really horny and pushy and I was already set to “fight mode” because of what happened earlier. Still, thanks to a lot of luck, a few well placed words from A and the begging of the bartender, I did not start a fight there and left (I am under no circumstances the “fighter” nor a guy who considers it “manly” to fight in bars or wherever… still, this time was different since I was really stressed).
But when we left, one of the guys from the bar followed us (I’m still thankful it was only one) and hit me when I was completely unaware of his presence. He was probably planning to abuse A. too, or God knows what, but he didn’t even get the chance to get close to her, because a couple of her neighbors were luckily outside and jumped in to help us. So I was, thankfully, the only victim. Yes, I'm still a wuss :D.
In the end, everything was pretty OK, though – A. took me to her apartment, took good care of me, treated my wounds and… since I was in such a pain, she took care of all the swellings on my body, if you know what I mean. And you should do, because I will definitely never forget that – such a pleasant combination between pure pleasure, the pain of the wounds and, eventually, the relief of losing all the stress I had accumulated until then. It was pure heaven! As soon as she finished pleasing me orally, I went immediately asleep, like a little baby (and probably she thought I was a complete moron but, hey! that’s life sometimes!)
And indeed a new life it was – the beginning of my new mini-vacation within the mini-vacation (or something strange like that). The new beginning, I could say. Because another interesting day followed. But I will try to tell what happened in a later post. Now I just want to rest a bit. It’s great to be home and feel the love. (I just said that "love" thing in the end because I think this picture below doesn't really fit the story :D)
Jun 27, 2008
I'm still alive (fortunately)
The first thing I have to do is say sorry for this two days-long break, but strange things are bound to happen when you are not home – one of them being “no internet access, pal!”. And now, just to make you laugh, I’m kind of hiding in the bathroom with the laptop here, trying to make the best out of this entry in which I will not be able to narrate 10% of what happened during the past couple of days (probably). Everything was a complete madness, this I can tell you! And a big, huge mess!
I don’t even know what the most important thing that happened is and what should I talk about fist – I have managed to develop an at least strange “relationship” with A., I have managed to ruin my friendship with the friend I was living at, I became broke and homeless in this strange city and I was inches close of losing my driver’s license and making it even riskier to go back home. So… how can one narrate all these in one post, basically hiding in the bathroom? :D
Since this is My Girl Quest, though, I will consider the “screwing A.” chapter of the past couple of days the most important, so I’ll quickly sum up the things that happened between us – it has been so much that I am sure I could write an entire book about it. Who knew dating is such a serious thing? Heh.
So, as I was predicting in my previous entry, I did meet with A. two days ago and that was basically the thing that turned my peaceful short vacation into a terrible mess. Not necessary because of her – she is a wonderful person, even though I can say she’s a bit too naive and maybe too inexperienced
when it comes to living (well… she is only 19 and not even I can consider myself a guy who knows stuff about life :D). Anyway… she is pretty sweet and childish and there is something about her that instantly makes you go crazy. Just lose it, just fall for her and never get up – something that would’ve been a disaster for me and My Girl Quest, since the whole point is to score as many chicks as possible, right?
So… I was into a pretty awkward situation: out with a girl I just had to score in order to record progress in my mission, but on the other hand she was… loveable. That type of girl who seems like the best option for commitment. But I have the bad five years long experience and I won’t fall so quickly again. Especially when everything else is falling apart around me.
Because our first date (a sort-of romantic dinner, just the two of us, followed by a long walk – you know, the classic style) turned into a mess, as I kept saying. I, of course, invited her home (to my friend’s apartment, actually) and she accepted. The dude was out, clubbing with his friends and I was ready for a long night alone with A. God or whatever rules the universe had other plans, though.
After the successful date we started making out, everything was great – hell, even the music was right (something which rarely happens to me)! However, we got interrupted – it was the worst possible moment, while we were making love. If you don’t know how much that sucks, you can count yourself really lucky. Anyway, I heard my friend, T., entering his apartment and since I considered him one of my best mates, I quickly wrapped a towel around my waist and went straight to the entrance, willing to ask him for a spare hour or so, to finish the job I had started. But I was a bit shocked to see what I saw: he was cuddling with E. (his sexy neighbor I did just a few days ago). Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t care too much about her, but she was living in the apartment above and T. knew I was there with a girl, for God’s sake! And I had just screwed his date a few days before! It was a really, really strange situation and I did feel a bit offended and I kept wondering why would T. do something like that.
However, as it usually happens – a problem always comes together with another problem – things got even worse just minutes after, when A. came out of the room and E. started to scream like a mad woman. Apparently, the two girls knew one another and they were not friends: in the past, E. had stolen one of A.’s lovers. Yeah, something wicked like that. So A. started to act strange and say rude things to E, including the fact that she had once again stolen one of her lovers – me! And that was something that didn’t go well for T, my mate, who was basically the woman’s partner (at least for the night). So we were all standing there, the atmosphere was really tense, the girls kept throwing arrows to each other, T. was pretty mad, I was really confused and annoyed, as well… eventually my mate told me it would be better if I left and that we were going to talk in the morning. And he knew I had no place to sleep! He just threw me out of his house, together with A., who was pretty annoyed and paranoid, too. I wasn’t in a great shape, either and that wasn't one of the best moments in my life.
...But now I have to pause the whole thing, I’m spending too much time already here (I’m in the bathroom) and I can hear A. getting a bit anxious. So I should leave. I will try to log in later today and add some pictures to this pretty lengthy post and edit it properly. Then, without any promises regarding the timing, I will come and post the rest of the story. Because this is just the beginning.
Jun 24, 2008
Flirting Tip #2
Basically, we could consider a part of my previous entry as the second flirting tip and this one here the third. But whenever beautiful girls are involved (and, luckily, they keep coming), counting is the last thing that really matters. Especially when you're dead tired after an almost perfect night out.
Last night was the first I actually managed to go to the club during this mini-vacation of mine and we all know that clubs are the best pick-up spots for willing guys like me. However, my flirting last night was a bit different from what one might expect (and, of course, completely unintended). Or, of course, I'm just too old already (no need to search again, I'm 25).
Anyway - since I am not a smoker and the club I went to was starting to get foggy because of the cigarettes smoke, I went outside for a breath of fresh air. And I was going to find out that "outside" of the club is nothing but pure heaven: yes, I mean lots of chicks. Single, alone and ready to socialize. A pick-up place where everybody has a chance.
You only have to sit and wait. One of the girls out there should give you "the looks". Smile to her and if she smiles back, it's clear: Go for it! I did it and that's how I met my latest "prey", A. Everything started like a friendly chat outside and she said she was getting ready to leave since her friends went home. Of course, I took advantage of the moment and asked her to join me and my group. Luckily, she accepted. And, even though I did not manage to score her last night, we're meeting again today. So I lost nothing by trying (and not losing is always great)
Which means that Flirting Tip #2 is: Leave the club and search outside. You might find a few lonely and lovely birds out there looking for company. Go for it! You have absolutely nothing to lose!
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Top image credits: woody
Jun 23, 2008
How to get the bar girl
It feels kind of funny (in a bad way, if you can imagine something like that) to write about flirting, dating and promiscuous girls after a post like my previous one. But life has to go on and, after all, that’s what My Girl Quest is about. Or is finally starting to become "something", because if you only read my first entries you probably said “pathetic loser, you will fail!” And, back then, I would’ve said you were right. But things change. Pretty quickly sometimes.
Because today I can say that I am starting to become a new person: I have already managed to get over M., I have already managed to score a few chicks and both my flirting techniques (or guts) as well as sexual life are starting to skyrocket. Because... yes! Last night I scored again! Two girls in two consecutive nights, baby! I love this (new) city and my vacation!
Just like in the cheap movies, I scored a waitress – that kind of girl who is ready to believe you if you tell her she’ll become a famous movie star or supermodel, and she will immediately kneel in front of you to say “Thanks” while unzipping... Yes, I mean this girl was pretty stupid, too. The most do-able type of girl on the planet.
L. is her name and she was, once again, a really easy prey: and since it happened again, I honestly started to wonder if this is how this part of life is today. I’m talking about this “personal life” part of the life – about dating, flirting, about the whole sexual part of human kind. Is it that easy as it was for me these couple of weeks? You just have to ask for it and the girls say “OK”? No more flowers, romantic dates and long walks hand in hand, no more hour-long phone calls and so on? It seems that’s the way things are today and I’m starting to regret I lost all these during my past five years...
Anyway… back to L – as I said, she was an easy one (or I’m just a really lucky fellow). I went together with my friend (T.) and a few of his pals to a pub to have a few drinks before heading to the club, ready for a long night of mindless fun and lots of flirting. But it happened that I met L.
She’s that type of young wannabe which, like I said, hopes to become a famous movie star or singer or something like that and so she works in a fancy pub hoping for an agent to come and “discover” her. Meanwhile, she will probably offer free blowjobs to every guy who says he’s a photographer and can make her famous.
I had another technique to start with: the “dumb, oops, I didn’t know you can hear me” technique. Or the “safe” flirting option – you can call it as you wish. The point is that I told one of the guys at the table that I thought she looked like Angelina Jolie. Of course, she was near and she heard. Of course, that was the whole idea (and no, she had nothing in common with Angelina, except for the fact that she was a brunette :D). However, L. bought it. She instantly turned into honey: she was only looking at me whenever she came to our table (and she did come a lot more often than she should), we kept making eye-contact and eventually we started to “accidentally” touch one another’s hands. Which means that it was obvious. She wanted IT.
When I asked for her number, she brought it, just like a tramp, written on a paper towel from the bar (luckily, it was not written with lipstick). Only a few minutes after she brought it, I called her (and I really consider I did a nice thing) and said I was a secret admirer and we had to meet and go out for a date. Fortunately, she understood it was me and even considered it funny, so she accepted. Yes, I know. She just wanted IT.
Fast forward now: we talked and she was going to end her shift soon. I directly asked her “my place or your place?” (well, not that direct, but it's "fast forward" now, mmmkay?) and she said she lives with her mother. We went straight to T’s house and I lied her a bit – I told her I was a good friend of a few important journalists in my country and that I can help her appear on the cover of a magazine. She bought it again and, in exchange, she showed me she had the best skills in the world. Honestly – what the girl did to me was something adult movie stars could’ve learned a lot from. Unfortunately, that is about everything she knows to do. However, since I’m definitely not the first, nor the last person who took advantage of her, I do not feel too guilty. I’m not a beast. I’m just a flirt machine that’s finally starting to work as it should.
Note: No, this beautiful blond chick is not the girl I scored.
Jun 22, 2008
Support for the Philippines
Shocked, I just found out that a true natural disaster just happened in the
Because the news was pretty bad: many of the 700 passengers of a ferry died when their ferry was sunk by the Fengshen Typhoon and many other are missing from the Sibuyan region. This is really, really bad news and I truly hope that the entire world will support as they should the nation, the victims and everybody who is still affected by the typhoon.
Stay strong,
Lotta love for the woman above me
Just as I was expecting, this little holiday of mine already proved to be a lifesaver for My Girl Quest! It’s all different when you are away in another city, without caring that your friends might find you, without caring if a girl you use one night will tell her friends and slowly you will become a persona non grata. All you have to do in another city is – party, party, party! And that’s exactly what I plan to do – and have absolutely great results. I’m quite a stud, you know? (Yeah, I kept heard that if you keep repeating stuff to your silly little brain, you will start to believe that :D)
So… I have arrived yesterday here, in this
Anyway… back to the topic. As I was saying, when I met with my friend yesterday night, since I was pretty tired following the 8 hour-long road trip, I told him I’d rather spend the first night at home than going to a club – I just wasn’t in a mood for it. And God knows club girls feel everything and a bad mood would’ve been a definite No-No!
My friend agreed, but insisted that we should do at least some socializing, so he called a few friends to his apartment so we can play cards, drink a beer or two and talk – you know, old man’s style of fun.
But it turned out it was not that old school (or this is just how it always happens with me – I get all the fun when I am least expecting it) since my friend has the sexiest neighbor in the world. I mean – forget the sexy Euro 2008 chicks, this girl was the real deal! And she was right there, near me, not in
We started our “affair” just how high-school couples begin theirs – my friend, who knew some things about my desire to flirt, pick up and screw as many girls as possible, kept joking that me and her should be together, that she should kiss me since I haven't been with a woman since my gf left me (oh... if any of them knew the truth!) and so on. One bottle later, we were confy cuddling on the couch, completely ignoring the card-playing dudes. And, just a bit more later, we were in the room upstairs and I was screwing her brains out!
This means that I have four girls on my list. Much, much better than what I was expecting when I first started My Girl Quest and I was a complete wuss (well… I still am, but I’m in another city and I just know I will keep scoring. So please, pray for me :D)
Jun 20, 2008
Things people should build: flirting gadget
I was starting to get really, really bored today (you know, the same “doing nothing” from me, since I am dead tired - this week I was exhausted because of the parties) so I started to think at some strange, silly things people should’ve invented in order to make MY life and my quest a lot easier. And I found the perfect one: the flirting gadget!
It should be something like those fake testosterone sprays or perfumes (without being fake, obviously): only by pressing a button, you would turn into Superflirt Man or something crazy like that and all the girls around would fall for you (or at least one easy to score, you know?)
And yes, I am aware that something like a flirting device would not only be completely impossible to make, but also stupid and pointless. But it just crossed my mind (earlier, I must admit, and it seemed a bit more fun back then) and I thought I should share, since there are absolutely no real girl-adventures for me to share, unfortunately.
P.S. Yes, I know that there is already a flirting gadget invented and it’s called the Internet (or online dating). But I’m talking about the real deal here, understood? :P
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In other words, tomorrow morning I am going on a short vacation to a friend of mine, as I was planning. Hopefully the change of cities will give me a fresh new start in My Girl Quest. I’ll keep you updated (even though it is a high possibility tomorrow I won’t post).
Jun 19, 2008
Bad week, after all
It’s been a really bad week for me. M. returned to mess a bit with my life, I was not able to score at least one chick and, even worse, I did almost nothing to heighten my chances - no flirting, no meeting of new girls, no nothing. Just failure, failure, failure. And hoping to get the best out of weekends and doing nothing else during the week is definitely a bad thing to do: I need at least two girls per week and it’s very likely I will not get them during the weekend.
I need to make new friends, somehow. I need to keep going out, I need to experiment and explore. Because soon my circle of friends will have no girls to offer to me. :D The virgin to be sacrificed on the altar. LOL.
I’m taking a week off from work next week since I am getting very tired. I think I should get out of town. Go visit a friend or something. Improve my chances of meeting new girls, flirting with them and convincing them I deserve their love. Because surfing for girls or playing sim date games is not going to help me. So, unless I want to become a new Onan, I have to get my ass up this chair!
Jun 18, 2008
The sexiest Euro 2008 girls
Following my bad experience with M, I felt like "surfing for girls". And, as you might know, the UEFA Euro 2008 is a place where the best football (soccer) teams meet on court. But have you ever wondered what happens off court? Well... with just a few clicks, I did! :D In the stands, where the fans are hoping for the best for their team? Well, let me assure you that there is the best for a man to watch. And, as a proof, I have selected a list of “best-of” girls from Euro 2008. Enjoy!
Note: I don’t really like posting “image-only” entries, but this time I’ll HAVE to make an exception. Just look at the chicks! (Oh, and also, I must admit that it took like forever to arrange them in the page. Click on the thumbs to enlarge and better use the “open in new tab/window option”)
First, the most beautiful Croatian, Austrian and Italian girls:
Now, some Czech, Greek and Holland angels:
German, French and Spanish super-fans:
Russian, Romanian and Polish cuties:
And a little Portuguese cherry:
If you enjoyed these sexy girls, visit my second entry featuring sexy Euro 2008 girls (click on the orange link!)
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Image from: Eurogirls
Dealing with your ex
If I were the paranoid type of person (please notice the sarcasm!), I could’ve said that I have been asking for it, with all my “somebody’s watching me” nonsense. But I was partially correct – even though it seems that nobody was watching my blog (from the people that should not do it, of course!), my worst fear was just around the corner. The beast that ate my life and threw it in the garbage dump. The reason for My Girl Quest, in the first place. My ex. M.
Today she said she just had to meet me, that it was a must, that there was no other way to do it. She said it was a very urgent thing and she really, really needed my help – she was in trouble. And, even though I feel like puking whenever I think of her; even though it hurts me to tears to remember any of the moments I had spent with her; even though I promised to myself that M. is dead and she will never ever get a chance to sneak into my life… I was a bit worried. She needed help, as she said and it seemed like I was the only person able to help her.
I am so stupid sometimes!
We agreed to meet at 5. This meant that I had to ask my boss to let me leave earlier today (and I will probably have to compensate for this somehow tomorrow). Anyway… I left earlier and went straight home. Back then, I didn’t find it funny she wanted to meet at my place, not in a pub or something...
So she came to the door, more beautiful than ever, smelling like a new life, looking like paradise, breathing heaven. And I was probably looking like the most stupid thing on earth there, in front of the door, drooling and starting to remember the good.
That’s always the problem in such cases – when you meet a person you truly loved after so much time (yes, I do consider 6 months SO much time), you tend to forget the unbearable pain she has provoked. You tend to act stupid. You are defenseless and she usually knows it. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have come looking like she did, smelling like she did, and having so big “problems”.
I am so stupid sometimes!
Without even saying “Hello”, she jumped into my arms and kissed me. I don’t have words for the feeling I had when I felt her lips, when I touched her skin, when I started to remember HER. She told me that she did think about the whole thing and that she realized she had mistaken to dump me for another dude. She told me that she truly loved me and she realized that while being alone for the past two weeks, after that guy dumped her.
Let me repeat that: She said that she realized how much she loved me AFTER the guy she dumped me for, dumped her. After she became single. All alone. And she needed a milking cow. You get it?
And I am not that stupid!
The first thing I felt like doing was to hit her. To hit her hard and tell her to f*** off. But I have never hit a woman and she definitely did not worth being a first for me. Then I thought I should just play the game a little and take her to my bed, take advantage of her then write her name in My Girl Quest’s list then shew her. But I did not do it. Instead, I told her that I no longer feel anything for her. I showed her the pictures I took with C. and that M. (the one from the party, obviously). I showed her I can have a life without her. That I can still have sex after she’s gone. That I am a man.
She insisted. I denied. She tried to kiss me again, I had the strength to refuse. I invited her to leave. I invited her to go and never turn back. I wished her good luck and asked her to wish me the same, since I had bigger plans for my life. She said nothing.
Was I stupid? Was I stupid I said no to her? Oh, God, please tell me I did the right thing!
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Top image credits: www.wigen.net
Jun 17, 2008
Paranoid flirting freak
There are a ton of things to say about my life / feelings / girl quest / everything today, that I don’t even know what to start with. One thing is sure: I’m slowly turning into a paranoid and I have absolutely no reason to be like that – like there’s any good moment to turn into a paranoid!
First things first: Yesterday’s party was a complete mess. A total fluke. The biggest miss ever. You get the idea. First of all because, as you can imagine, I got no date out of it. There were quite a few M-type of girls, but none seemed to be the type ready to go all the way to my bed. There was this particular chick – the self-confident type, the one that will make her first million by shaking her ass and the rest of five by marrying an old fart who’ll die a couple of weeks later… so, as I was saying, there was this particular chick I completely wanted to get. Just to do her and dump her. Date her and leave her. Make her understand that the entire universe does not revolve around her. I failed and it seems that she managed, without even trying, to show me that the world actually revolves around her. I am so pathetic sometimes… and that was just the beginning!
Because M. showed up and acted like we never met before (which was OK with me, up to a point). That point was when she had already danced with everybody in the room except for me (you know – the mating call). It sucks to be left behind. It sucks to go somewhere where one thing is clear: you’ll score, but you do not manage to do it. Damn, I think that every guy actually managed to score twice and I lost all the time with that full of herself chick. If I can’t manage to flirt properly with these ONS-ready chicks, I’m doomed!
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Of course, this party I went to last night had the anticipated result: an uber-tiredness and absolutely no mood for working or flirting (had I got the chance). I was so dizzy and wasted that if the most beautiful girl in the world came to the room and asked “Who’s single,” I would’ve pointed at my colleague, just to be sure she leaves me alone. And it’s even worse that tonight will only get me even more tired. And not because of some marathons in bed (at least not with a girl, which is even more sad!)
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I have been spotted. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later – and it happened sooner. Heh. However, it seems that it’s not actually any “spotting” involved – it’s just a coincidence. But it was something that scared the hell out of me – there are some people who would completely ruin my chances of achieving the goal I have in mind (yes, the one nobody knows about – to score 100 girls in one year). Because no girl would give you a piece of some sweet loving if she knew you were only doing it for the numbers…
Jun 16, 2008
Hopes for another easy prey
I just got a phone call from the guy who hosted Saturday’s party (when I scored M.) and he invited me for another one at his place. I truly hope I’ll be able to get another girl today – this friend of mine always tends to bring ONS-ready type of girls. I just wonder if M. will come again – and how is she going to react when she sees me. Women are really strange, you know? Anything is possible. Unfortunately, if “that” thing happens again with M, it is not counted. The question is – do I want to do her again?
As a side note, today I did absolutely nothing for My Girl Quest. Unless playing all the browser based sim dating games counts, heh. I know it doesn't but once again, one thing is certain - they can get really frustrating at some points. But life’s boring anyway. And tomorrow will probably be a hard day for me, too: no matter if I score tonight or not, I will probably be dead tired. Oh, well…
PS: Just wondering… how secure is this blog from the people I know? I did a few “mistakes” and my origins can be found but… is the other way also true? I got the weird feeling that somebody’s watching me, like in the Rockwell song :D
Elf Girls
I had so much old school fun! You know, that kind of fun you have while at the office, doing anything BUT working. :) Of course, I found my fun-source by mistake, but I am completely satisfied.
I started to forgot this type of sim-games (they have a strange term like eroge or beshido-whatever, but I’m too lazy to search for it). It’s that type of game where you are a boy and have 100 days to score a chick. You know, something that’s really like My Girl Quest. And, damn! They’re hard to score (unlike real life).
Anyway, if you want to have some great fun in the company of a free web based flash game, go ahead and google “elf girls sim date” or “sim date games” and you’ll find a ton. A great way to keep you entertained, a good way to understand why dating in my world is a bit difficult than it is in the movies. Good luck!
Jun 15, 2008
Flirting tip #1
I keep testing stuff and try to find out if there might be an “easy-way-to-do-it” type of thing when it comes to flirting. I know that, usually, online dating and real life dating have absolutely
nothing in common, but I can only try stuff only atm since I’m way too shy for real life experiments.
So today I tried the “brutally honest” technique: after 30 or so minutes of talking to a girl I met on a friend-finder website, I told her that I actually wanted to meet her in person. Probably she already started to like me a bit, since she didn’t instantly ignore me, but instead tried to change the topic. I insisted, whatsoever, by saying that I find her super sexy and, I quote, she’s “the true definition for a woman” (LOL-time). Obviously, it did not work.
So, flirting tip #1: A “Brutally honest” approach does not work in the online dating world. At least not 30 minutes after meeting a person. If you do it 3 months after meeting the person it does not count. You’re a pussy in that case. One bigger than me.
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Image credits: listmania43.blogspot.com
Easy Girl
The third name was written on my list, proving me once again that I might just succeed with My Girl Quest. However, as strange as this might sound, I am not at all excited by my latest date/flirt/whatever success. And that is exactly the reason I didn’t even bothered to write last night, after scoring – some girls, like this one, are just too easy!
You know, there is a type of girl who has “TRAMP” stamped on her forehead, and M., the latest on my list, was one of them (And just as a funny side note, her name could be translated in English as Emmanuelle – which is also the name of one of the best known erotic movie character of all times! Strange coincidence, huh?)
So, as I was saying… I met M. at this home-party I went to last night. She was clearly there just to get IT. Actually, she had dressed in such a way that it seemed like her only goal in life is to getting IT: her two big brains were screaming for air from under an ultra tight latex-like red dress and her dancing style was nothing but a mating call. Of course, I answered the call.
To be honest… she was plain stupid. Sorry if that sounds too harsh, but it is the truth: my date (or whatever you call an ONS girl) was stupid. The type of cliché blond girl appearing in B-rated comedy flicks – the one who seems to have traded her brains for boobs. And M. wasn’t even blond! Instead, she just wanted IT. She was the one who took the matter into her own hands (she did the same while in bed, if you allow me to share the secret :P) and subtly suggested we should go to my place, since she didn’t like the music (yes, the same music she kept shaking her booty on all night). So I took her home and scored. She’s the third name on my list. But not a success. Definitely.
My two cents on the story:
- I wonder if this type of girl, the "M. type of girl" gain anything out of their behavior. Basically, it was plain simple sex, no strings attached, no dinner at a fancy restaurant, no gold necklace, no three dates and a car. So I keep asking myself: what does a girl win in such a situation? Please, tell me if you know!
- Although she accepted to be photographed by me, she explicitly stated not to show the pics to anybody. So… sorry, no pics of her. I’ll try to be more persuasive in the future.
Jun 14, 2008
The great pretender
I’m a sucker for evergreens, even though I completely dig today’s music. But I have the feeling that it has to be an oldie if you want a quality love song. Still, this video is far from being what one would consider a “love song”, but I needed an introduction to the post, you know?
The thing is that right now this is exactly what I am (no, not a song, Watson!): I am the great pretender. Whenever I see a girl, I instantly think “My Girl Quest” and start to create imaginary scenarios of how things will be after I say “Hi”. The problem is that I always get carried away by this scenario-building thing that the “Hi!” part happens too late – usually when the girl is already gone from my life, forever.
But I keep pretending. I keep lying I’m a flirt, I’m a good date, I’m a guy who had and still has all the girls in the world… I keep pretending and the girls seem to have a radar for that. Otherwise, I can’t understand why My Girl Quest ain’t going as planned.
The problem is that things don’t look too well atm and that can only mean one out of two things: I’m either a bad “pretender” or I have a completely wrong target.
I have always opted for the girls with brains (as every sane male probably does), I have always preferred those who can say a phrase without speaking about make-up or mascara, I have always loved a girl with the sense of humor. But these girls are smart and they seem to sniff at me one second and say: oh, you’re just a pretender! And I waste my time. And this is something that turns my quest into a impossible one – 2 girls in 2 weeks is awfully underachieving!
So, starting today, I will go for the silly/naive type of girls. At least for them I can be the great pretender.
Must Reads
Even though I was not expecting it, I have received quite a few e-mails during the previous days from different people who proved to care about My Girl Quest. I was surprised and honored at the same time – it is always good to have somebody to support you, to care for you and to tap you on the back when you have to burp.
However, I have noticed that most of the people have no idea what My Girl Quest is, after all. And I totally understand that: nobody reads tens of posts just to find out what’s happening in one fella’s head :) Anyway, I have decided to create a must reads post and I will update it weekly with the most important… reads!
First of all, there are the details on My Girl Quest: the rules and the updates on the rules.
Then, we should all look back and laugh at my first failure (it does not hurt anymore :P)
A bit of rambling, trying to convince everybody that I’m not a stupid animal.
The first chick I scored (kind of).
My second so-called date (a total failure but a good laugh)
And, finally, the first blog entry below this one: The second girl I scored!
Also a good read if you want to know what to eat for gastritis
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Image credits: Anne Belov
Jun 12, 2008
How I scored G (update)
Scoring a chick you have worked for, the girl you have flirted with and whom you have convinced all alone that she should offer you some great time… boy, this is wonderful! I started to forget the feeling after my gibberish five years and I was honestly starting to lose hope I am still able to achieve something like that. But G. proved me wrong and she is a definite high for my personal life – both because of her looks and the morale boost she offered me (without knowing, unfortunately for her!)
We went for dinner in a pretty sweet restaurant – I ordered wine, she only wanted soda. So I started to believe that it was nothing but a simple date for her (for me, a girl who says “no” to alcohol is a girl that says “I’m not effing you today, baby!”) It seems that, once again, I was wrong.
The dinner went pretty well, I was nervous as hell and hadn’t it been for the wine, I wouldn’t had been able to say a single right word to her. But, thanks to the boost received from the alcohol, I managed to be quite funny. Still, I was pretty sure she wanted nothing more than a “get to know each other better” sort of date. God, I love I was wrong!
Since it was getting pretty late and both had to go to work early next morning, I was becoming quite anxious to leave (I knew she didn’t want to have sex with me, I had accepted that, I was ready to go home – easy!). However, I just couldn’t tell her that – instead, I asked her if she wants a coffee or something (in my mind, I was hoping she would understand that I’m suggesting it was kind of late). It seems that she understood: she said she wanted nothing more, that she had a great time but it was time we left.
I said I’ll drive her home and, while in the car, she told me another thing I kept thinking about all day today and still couldn’t figure out the reason for saying it. In other words, she said something like “I don’t like guys with a car like yours” (in my country, my car is considered a pretty expensive one). However, thanks to the wine I had drank, probably, I replied: “A car doesn’t make a guy. And even if it did, I’d still be different”. And this might have been the “click!” in her mind and soul, because 20-30 minutes later we were having fun like two teenagers.
And, even more, she asked for it! Because when we got to her block of flats, she asked me to go up and drink the coffee I didn’t have the chance to at the restaurant. Of course I was confused, of course I was kind of shocked and, even though my first intention was, strangely, to call it quits, I went to her room. And the rest is history.
But such a great history! Except from the oral pleasure I have received from C. a few days ago, I had a break of over 5 months until this great beautiful night. And five months for a guy my age is WAY TOO MUCH! That was one of the reasons my performance wasn’t one of the best and G will definitely not consider me one of her best “games”, but it doesn’t matter! I scored! My girl quest is finally turning in what it should: meet girl, flirt with her, date and boom-shack-a-lack! I’m happy!
PS: I have also managed to take a few pictures of her with my camera. However, I had a little chat with a friend of mine today and he told me that, unless I have the girl’s approval, I am not allowed to post her pictures on my blog. Which kind of sucks. However, this blurred out picture (she is unrecognizable in it) I think can stand. I’ll ask my friend tomorrow if it is OK :)
Jun 11, 2008
Unbelievable update
I have no idea if anybody reads this but just guess who's computer is this. Yes, yes! It is G's and now she's taking a shower. I'm gonna get laid in a few minutes and I log in to post an entry in my blog. I am such a geek! But I score. Details tomorrow (if she doesn't drain the life out of me!)
Instant messaging dating is possible, after all
Ideally, it would’ve been "instant dating", to tell you the truth, but at least it is some sort of dating. And I really have a treasure hidden here in my messenger list – it is something I should take advantage of. And I will!
Girl’s name is G. I talk to her every now and then, usually when she is feeling bored. I’m the guy who delivers the entertainment (yeah, in my native language I do tend to be funny!). Well… today was a bit different – today I flirted! And it seems that it works – I find it a lot easier to flirt online, apparently, than to do it face to face. Of course, it’s just the beginning. I’m going to become the master of flirting, in the end!
So… as I was saying, I talked almost all day with G (don’t tell my boss!), we were having a good time, she was reacting really well to my flirts, everything was great. And she started to send me pictures of her. Not super sexy, not too much, just little, normal, pictures. And I was careful to tell her she is beautiful. Every time. It worked. This is the most important thing in the world, I realize now: to keep repeating a girl or woman that she’s beautiful.
Therefore, tonight I have a date with a girl I met online a lifetime ago and I never thought about her in that way. So wish me luck! Because it is, officially, the first date I actually did something for. God, I hope everything will be OK and, at the same time… if it is OK, please, God, don’t turn me into an online dating perv. Heh.
Jun 10, 2008
Remember the good old times, Sony?
PlayStations have absolutely nothing to do with My Girl Quest. But since I used to work as a game journalist in my country a while ago, I found this specific picture you can in this post worth much more than just 1000 words.
So, what do we see here? We see a happily “just-married” couple (that actually look so 90s!) that enjoys Sony’s newest work of art – the PSOne. Just by looking at them one can understand how happy they were and how good everything went between them – they are even sharing the same controller! Oh, ain’t that sweet and cute and cudly?
But this happened a looong while ago, when Sony one was getting ready to take over the world (with the PS2) and, of course, just like in a hippie generation, everybody was excited back then. Who knows, maybe back then the PlayStation was even able to get you laid. Or at least get you a date. But now, a PS3 wedding cake seems more like a comedy gag!
But that is NOT the funny part. Because I was just wondering, when I accidentally found this old picture: are the two still together? Are they still loving the PlayStation? Or they have too gone to Microsoft’s side now? It would be absolutely hilarious to see their 6-7 year-old kid in a picture, in front of a cake with the shape of an Xbox 360. Heh. And what makes this story even more sad: it could be true!
Note: if you want to see the whole picture, you can click it, of course!
Feeling Emo
Being, acting or just feeling emo is not something I really enjoy doing. Honestly, it is something I consider lame. But emo is exactly how I feel like now. Because it’s Tuesday and I still had no other experiences following my quick stupid adventure with C. And the strangest thing is not that I am too ugly, the girls keep saying no or anything similar. I am just too lazy – I don’t do anything. I don’t walk down the street and tell girls they are beautiful. I don’t ask girls if they want a ride, if I’m in my car. I just suck. I am a poor little fellow that can do nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. I’m just pathetic. A poor soul who’s never going to date again. Heh. I’m such an EMO!
PS: No, really now! I am NOT emo!
Jun 9, 2008
Crazy girl. CRAZY
There are no words in any dictionary to describe how tired I am today. If “feeling dead” is possible, then definitely that’s the feeling I have. I can’t even think at the moment (and I was like that all day).
- 3 cups of coffee, cold water on my face about 15 times, 6 visits outside for a breath of fresh air. All these had no effect. I am dead tired. Because of her, my latest “date”. My latest chick that should’ve been on the list.
Everything was bound to happen: I went to a club together with a few friends and I was continuously repeating to myself: “get a girl quick, do her, go to sleep”. As strange as it might sound, since I was that tired and knew I had to sleep or die, I turned into a dude with guts. Of course, just as in the bad movies, this greatness of mine ended after I went to a random chick and asked her for a dance. She said something like “F*** you, d***** *****” and other feminine things like that and completely amazed me (imagine!)
Still, it’s not this girl the crazy one. Heh.
The crazy chick only appeared a few beers after that. I was sitting at my group’s table – they were having fun, I was feeling like a loser (again) and there she came – slim, red headed, very drunk and all smiling. Apparently, she was a friend of a friend (honestly, I did not hear her name, so she will always be known in my life as the nameless hero. Or just Crazy Chick. Or I’ll just forget her in a few weeks – it doesn’t matter).
So, as I was saying, she sat right near me and said “God, it’s hot in here!” My first intention was to tell her “Then, strip!” but I realized that it would’ve been a 5th grader’s line. So, as the gentleman I am, I asked her outside (OK, I admit! I was feeling a little dizzy myself, too).
Once we got outside, she started jumping around like a mad person. I am still sure she was on crank or something, but she kept denying it. Anyway, she was jumping around there, I was starting to feel REALLY embarrassed (people were watching, you know?) but she didn’t care. Then, she told me to follow her and didn’t wait may response – she was already running down the street.
I have no idea what was in my head. I followed her (well… you know what was in my head: I was sure I’ll screw her in a dark alley or something). But, no, the chick was just crazy! So, after we ran about 10 minutes with no apparent goal, she stopped, turn around towards me and flashed me. Just like that. Then she came to me, took my hand and told me she wanted to go for a walk.
I was shocked, of course, and I was starting to feel like the victim of a prank. I wasn’t. She was just completely random (yet very conscious at ignoring my flirting - something natural to follow a "flashing session." right?). Instead, she just wanted to go for a walk, hand in hand. So we walked. Holding hands. With me trying to flirt, with her ignoring me.
Then, just like a maddened Forrest Gump or God knows what, she started to run again and I, like the stupid person I am, started to follow. And we finally got there! A dark alley where we were going to finally have sex. I so deserved that! But she had other plans in mind.
She turned around, again, flashed me (again!) then said “Thanks for taking me home!” And that was something she really meant – she just opened the door and entered the elevator. Just like that. Not even a phone number, not even a lousy hand-job! What’s even worse – I had absolutely no idea where I was!
So I was (am, and probably will always be) just a sucker. The girl did me so well that I am almost inclined to say I admire her. Of course, I could say that if it wouldn’t have been a completely random thing. However, I will talk with her friend (if indeed she was her friend) and hopefully I’ll find out more. But now… I’m just dead tired. So no chick for me today. Again.
Jun 8, 2008
Street pick up?
Unbelievable, I agree, but I did it! Of course, not as often as I would’ve liked to, but I did it! For about half an hour I walked down the streets just to look for girls to tell they’re beautiful. I don’t know how many there were (six or seven or something like that), but things look pretty promising:
- None tried to hit me.
- None ran away/screamed/called the police.
- About half of the girls didn’t even look at me when I said that (or, even more, they ostentatiously looked the opposite way. Oh, well…)
- The other half either smiled, either fearfully whispered a “Thanks”.
- None tried to hit me!
So everything seems to be great at the moment. I have the guts. There is nothing harder to do than randomly walk down the street and suddenly say to somebody “You’re beautiful” without sounding like a maniac. What’s even better, girls seem to dig this and a 50% chance of scoring/dating/holding hands is much better than none. Riiiight? So I’ll keep doing it. It’s good for the confidence. And, who knows, maybe I'll be able to develop a street pickup (or pick up?) technique and become some sort of guru for relationships and dating. LOL
Waiting for progress
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away… Neee, I’m just bragging with my musical knowledge. Heh. Last night was strange. Just strange and nothing more. And I have to credit the five beers I drank for that.
I got no chick last night. I saw quite a few lovely ladies, I would’ve loved to take all of them home, but I was (once again) just too stupid. I am not at all good at these sorts of things. I totally suck when it comes to women and there seems to be no fast cure for me. Maybe that previous plan of mine might help, but I totally doubt it. However, I am sure that my salvation will come. I’m a lucky person, you know?
The truth is that C. called me while I was at the club. She probably thought I was just being an a*shole the other day, so she allowed me to re-think the whole situation. It’s just an unfortunate timing, I could say: she wants a relationship; I want revenge on all females. Otherwise, I would’ve given it a shot… But since the situation is different, I have to keep searching.
No… allow me to rectify the whole thing: I have to insist, flirt non stop, and DO something. Searching is for losers. I need action. Yet… last night I did nothing. I just looked. Scanned. Searched! Saw the girls, did nothing, lost them forever. I will never see them again, I will never know if I could’ve been in a foreigner’s bed now, checking my second successful date on the list. Oh, well… at least I got completely drunk (I get drunk quite fast, unfortunately) and forgot about the mss I find myself into...
And now, I will go for a short walk. At least 20 minutes I will randomly walk on the streets, looking for single girl and I will hopefully be able to tell them “You’re beautiful”. Just like that!
Jun 7, 2008
You can’t delete your life
Deleting your past is impossible now and I doubt the future would change things too much. Also, changing your life is just too damn hard. And I really wanted to throw away all the pictures I had with M. But I just can’t delete them. I just can’t burn them. We’re talking about some great 5 years of my life. You can’t press Delete and “Wham!” five years are gone. You can’t delete your life like this…
Actually, I just did more harm than good trying to “sort the pics” and delete them. I saw her again. How beautiful she is… how nice she smelled, how soft her skin was… and how cruel her heart... I wanted to post a few pictures with her, but I found this one. This one right here suits the situation best: that’s what she is now. A shadow. Nothing more than a shadow. She doesn’t even deserve to be on my blog. She doesn’t deserve a picture here, in my new life!
Bye bye, M!
To do list
Survival of the strongest. Or the fittest. That’s the deal right now. I need a side-plan, a kind of “To do list” I have to check if I really want to succeed in changing my life. Here are the solid facts:
- For 20 minutes, EVERY day I will walk on the streets of my beautiful city and tell random girls they are beautiful. Just like that and especially if they are not! This will probably give me no dates (but many punches and curses, probably), but at least I will find it really easy to talk with other girls in clubs. Stupid plan?
- I will never honk nice girls I see on the streets. That’s absolutely rude, that’s something truckers do. However, each time I will find myself stuck into traffic and I see a girl passing by, I WILL have the guts to open the window of my car and ask if she needs a ride somewhere.
- I will do my best to take AT LEAST one picture of the girls I’m going to date. Things should happen really quickly and I completely doubt I will have too many memories of them in 3-4 years from now. And an image tells you more than 1000 words, right?
- In my instant messaging software I have about 60 girls living in the same city I do. I don’t know how they got there but I must start talk to each and every one of them, no matter if they are married, committed or gay. I need to have lots of options available just in case. (Just a side-note: Yeah, I’m talking about the girls I don’t know IRL!)
- I will burn all the pictures I have with M. Yes, I mean ALL of them – including this framed one I still keep here on my desk...
Only if I manage to check all the things on this list I will be able to say that I have a new life. It’s all fair in love and war, right? And I’m not planning to start a war, so… Sorry again, C! You’re the first and last girl in my life who’s going to hear these words.
Tough
If there are people who might want to do this stupid bet with life thing (like I did it), I have one word for you: don’t! Don’t do it if you are a human being. Don’t do it if you have a heart, if you have feelings, if you know what love is, if you have ever felt love, if you feel that other human beings shouldn’t be treated like animals, if you are not a demon!
This morning, C. woke me up with a phone call. She said she was already missing me and she was wondering why didn’t I call her last night. I was still a bit dizzy and didn’t know what to answer. She asked again: “Is there something wrong?” And I turned into the Animal.
Pathetic people like me should thank God for the phone, for allowing them to be the person they're not. To be strong. To have this illusion.
I told her that nothing was wrong, that everything works as it should: she made me feel good and now it’s time to move on. Now, when I think back to what I said I feel so embarrassed, I feel like a beast. Like a man with no soul. No feelings. No heart. I feel like sh*t, to be honest, and I am sure that’s how I should feel like.
And she said nothing else. "Click!", and she was no longer on the phone. Probably gone forever from my life...
I thought this was going to be fun. I mean… you know. It is supposed to be fun to screw girls, live like a rockstar with tons of groupies, dates with a new girls every night, no more falling in love anymore, no more suffering and pain and such…
Well… it is not! It’s not easy at all. But I have to do it. I have to keep doing this, even though it hurts at the moment. I’ve been C. before. I think I know how she feel right now. But what I have never been is… me. I should be glad, not upset. A girl went down on me, did her job and now I have to search for another. It’s easy like that. And it doesn’t matter how I feel… hopefully… eventually… I will start feeling the pleasure soon. Else I might just go mad.
Sorry, C! I really mean it!
Jun 6, 2008
Changes
That's me, you know... completely random. I know I should've been spending all my time posting the whole details on my recent success, yet here I am, dead tired, changing the entire look of my blog. I didn't actually like the previous one and I thought that the sooner I change it, the better.
It's not exactly the best theme out there, but I like it, it allows some great customization options and, finally, I can have the Digg widget in here. That's a widget you have to keep an eye on :) Now I'm heading to bed, I promise to come with more details tomorrow.
P.S. Yeah, I know the video is completely lame and random and such... but a short post and nothing else just ain't my style. Every thing's long and last long when it comes to me. Heh.
It's not exactly the best theme out there, but I like it, it allows some great customization options and, finally, I can have the Digg widget in here. That's a widget you have to keep an eye on :) Now I'm heading to bed, I promise to come with more details tomorrow.
P.S. Yeah, I know the video is completely lame and random and such... but a short post and nothing else just ain't my style. Every thing's long and last long when it comes to me. Heh.
It worked!
Understanding women or at least trying to do it is probably the stupidest thing one sane male could do. I am saying this because I have tried to understand C. this afternoon :P I have absolutely no reason to do that – and I doubt she can understand herself, anyway.
Yes, I scored! 99 chicks left…
I asked her why did she chose me from all the people in that pub. She said she didn’t. She just got carried away. “Why did you continue,” I asked, referring to what had just happened. “Well… I promised you, didn’t I? And, besides, I would’ve been just like a regular girl if I would’ve said something not to do it”.
I totally loved her answer, she is clearly a smart chick. Crazy, yes. But smart. A girl with attitude. A girl who knows what she wants, knows how to get that and has fun all the time while doing it. Honestly, she is the type of girl that is able to change a guy’s life forever. Like that one in a million hot chick who agrees to sleep with the last virgin in the school just because she has a great soul. Or something like that, I don’t know, I am still under the orgasmic effects of… uhm… orgasm :)
It was not exactly a full “score”, but it still counts. Oral counts, too, as long as the dude reaches climax, right? After more than five months on the dry… it just happened. Pop! Just like that. Can you imagine?
Because I am still shocked. Euphoric. I feel good, for God’s sake! I just can’t believe it. Oh… damned work, I hate it… I’m sure that by the time I get home I’ll forget tons of details and things I want to say now...
But I scored! 99 chicks left. And now, I:
Jun 5, 2008
Lucky Thursday!
Simply unbelievable! I might be turning into a lucky person. God, and I’m so tired now... Heh! But happy, y'a know?
I literary dragged D with me to the pub. Both he and I were tired, but I can’t just sit here and wait for something to happen, can I? Well… it seems that I was right and I’m again closer to score.
Since it was still early, we got a free table but soon they were all occupied. It just happened that two chicks (who proved to have bigger balls than mine) asked if they could sit at the same table with us. Can you imagine? We said yes and they were… how can I say it? Very open would probably be the best way to describe their behavior.
C. (not the first girl, duh!, even a different name, just the same first letter) was the girl that kind of flirted with me… I bought her a beer (yeah, she’s a beer person), she bought me one (!!!) she seems like a super chick. We did not, however, do anything. I didn’t want to risk it all by pushing too hard (even though D told me I was stupid not to, because the girl wanted The D***). Oh… well…
The good part is that we will meet tomorrow. Her apartment is very close to my workplace and she invited me to visit her – she said that she still owns me a beer (!!!) I guess it’s obvious what’s going to happen, right? ;) So, please, God! Make this one be real!
And the secret is...
Following that quite outrageous movie I saw, I kept surfing Youtube, thinking about my “problems”. And I did realize one thing: maybe it would be best at the moment to lower the standards... a lot! I shouldn’t only go after, or wish to get (if I am to be honest) the most beautiful chicks in the club. I should pay more attention to the fatty in the corner, the one which was sent on Earth with only one purpose: to die a virgin! This way I would do a greater good to myself (by scoring) and to herself (by allowing her to taste The Man). So, yeah, I am sure that is what I have to do: keep my standards low and only raise them when I start moving like I did back in the good ol’ days.
Yeah, I know… it sounds (and it is) completely pathetic. No real man lowers his standards. Well… I just did it. Even though nobody wants to help me, I still have to do it!
Hilarious!
Honestly, now! I need to meet girls like this one! I just have to! My life would be so easy if I did! Oh, come on, why am I living in the wrong country?
Warning: Following Youtube clip is absolutely NSFW!
Jun 4, 2008
And the plan is...
Really now, planning is a difficult thing to do, especially when you’re at work. Horrible. Anyway, here’s my emo-ish situation:
- I have 360 days to score 100 chicks. This means that by Saturday I must have a first “victim”. The con’s: I am shy. I haven’t been on a date for roughly 5 ½ years now. I am shy. I spend 8 hours per day at work. And, yeah, I am shy.
- I’m shy.
- My job. This is the biggest deal breaker. Of course, when I started this bet, I did not take it into account. There are only six female employees working there and it wouldn’t be the smartest thing in the world to screw one of them then dumping her. Pro's: I could fraternize with them, gain their trust and somehow make them ask me out with their group. They might have other single female friends and that could become my chance to keep everybody happy. Especially myself.
- I’m shy.
- I have absolutely no help. Even worse, the only two persons who know about my quest are a) still laughing at me (my friend, D.); b) completely against it and consider this whole deal the utmost idiocy (a girl I chat with).
- I’m shy.
So, things are not looking great. I have already failed twice in two days. One girl invited me to a date to never show up and completely disappear, the other was a missed hit from the start. And I don’t have anybody to support me. Which means that’s the first thing I have to get: support. I hope I’ll be able to do it via this blog. Real life would kind of be against the rules of the bet.
Second, I need to set my areas straight and maximize my flirt chances. Eight hours per day are spent at the office so most of my day is dead time. However, I will be very friendly with the six ladies and hopefully they will give me access to some of their friend. It’s a long shot, though and very unlikely, but it is much more than what I have now.
Then, there is the trip to work and back home. This is again very unlikely to give me the chance of scoring. You need big balls in order to pickup a girl on the street and I don’t have them. However, I can still look for potential targets. Maybe I manage to find a few girls that share the same route as me. Maybe I can find some common things with others – one may never know. Still, this is, again, a long shot. And I need something like… right now!
I have the evenings. But usually I get home really tired from work and until I eat and take a shower it is already a bit too late. And this is the biggest problem. I can’t go to clubs during the week and that’s a big loss. I will try to go to the pub as often as possible, though. It is close and girls are always present. Starting tomorrow I’ll become a pub regular.
And, finally, there are the weekends. I will have to spend each and every night in clubs and it is a must to get at least one girl per night. If I get good enough with this whole flirting thing, I might as well get two girls per night. And, boy, that would be great (both for me, my ego and my sexual life, but for the bet, too)! I will also spend the mornings “searching” the parks. If there is a girl sitting on a bench, in a park, Saturday or Sunday morning, she definitely has nobody to share her bed with. And she will gladly accept me – her savior, her prince on a white horse. That should work!
And this would be my plan. The very short version of it, of course – I still have a few secrets… secret, you know? I spent all day thinking about that. It became an obsession and every day without scoring makes it even harder. Oh, well… I am 100% sure it will be OK, in the end. I will win. I have to.
Jun 3, 2008
I need a plan
Sitting here in my room, all alone and feeling completely strange, thinking about all the nice days I’ve spent with M… it makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. It makes me sad, to be honest, but there is also a fire burning deep inside me. A fire that is ready to explode (or just make me implode) and say “Go for it! Do it!” I’ve always was the kind of person that just went for it and hoped for the best. The same happened with this bet and things are looking as bad as possible. And, even though everybody seems prepared to prove me wrong, I am not a loser!
I need a plan. I need a simple plan, beginning with “I am here” and ending with “I will get here”. That’s the easy part. I already know that. However, I need the route, too. That’s tough. That’s difficult. But I’m going to do it, nevertheless. I don’t care about anything else right now: I need a plan. Because this, what I have here, now, is not my life. I won’t allow myself to get old in a front of a computer, drinking beer all the time and getting morbidly obese. I am young and I’m going to date. Meet girls, stop being shy, become a macho or whatever. A stud, yeah! I’m going to screw every girl that meets me and dump her next morning, cold blooded. That’s what I am going to do!
But I need a plan. I really need one. Any help is really, really welcome. Honestly
___________
Image credits: piperreport
About my girl quest
Instant messaging programs are great when you combine them with work *giggles* Usually, I keep chatting about all sorts of random things with my friends but now it was just a bit different. I was a bit upset and deluded following my last evening’s failure, so I started a completely NSFW chat with one of my penpals. Or whatever you call a person you only talk with and which is from a far away country. A good online-friend, I might add, a person I know for at least 3 years now. Anyway, the idea is that I told her about my bet to score 100 girls in 365 days and she had a horrible reaction.
She said something like (I’m quoting from my memory): “I thought you were a better person, that you have a soul, unlike the other hunting males in the world, that you know dating is one thing and sex marathons are another”. She said I have no heart, that I will only become a huge pain in the girl’ hearts, a nightmare they'll pray to forget, that I will make them suffer just to feed my dying ego, just to prove myself the most stupid thing: that I am a male.
I don’t know if she is right. Of course, the way things are looking now, I’m not only a complete wuss who has no idea how to date, flirt, begin a relationship or just score to win his bet with life, but I am also the one who gets hurt, trashed and squashed by his victims. The complete idiocy, the supreme proof of “God has forgotten about me” syndrome. I’m the loser at the moment and it’s not a really great feeling, to be honest.
However, no matter if I fail or not, this is just a game! I will not ruin anybody’s life to keep my ego pumped! I am not going to make no girl cry for me, honestly, now! I’m the one who got effed up by the person who meant the world for. Please, allow me to live my life and don’t call me an egoistical creature! I’m the victim here, just so everybody knows!
Jun 2, 2008
Sad..
Really, moments like this one here are not something you’d like to remember. I want to forget it. I want to FORGET!!! It’s not about the quest anymore, it’s just about me. I am destined to fail. To be a looser and never be able to date a girl (my quest is clearly something utopic, if I can use that word…). I feel horrible. Sad.
She did not come. I have waited, sipping that obscenely expensive coffee. She didn’t come.
She did not answer her phone. I kept calling like a loser, but she did not answer. She knew she had a date with me, she could’ve just picked up the phone and say “Sorry, loser! I’m not coming anymore, I’m on the Moon now”. But she didn’t have the decency to do that. C. was the worst start possible.
And when I think about the fact that I was happy, excited, full of hope…
Now I’m sad.
Random song. Everly Brothers – Dream, Dream, Dream. That’s all I can do now. Unbelievable. I’m a loser.
First date
Completely tired, that's how I feel now after so much work (don't you just hate Mondays?) and I should really hurry since my quest officially begins today, and I will hopefully be able to score. It would be right on schedule, since I should get one girl every 3.65 days. Hahaha, this is completely insane!
Anyway, as promised, here is a quick glimpse on how everything happened and how I got the date with C. I was in a club with my friends (not the same I was in on Saturday, I doubt I will ever go there again) and things seemed to be even worse than the prior day: no girl was checking me and there was none interesting enough for me. I spent the first 1 hour and something sitting at the table and drinking (yeah, I know, not exactly the best way to find a girl) and I was really trying not to fall asleep. I was really tired – clubs ain't my thing. At all.
Eventually I decided it was time to do what I came there to do and I went to the bar to buy a new beer (dunno why, but I feel more secure with a bottle in my hand). That was the moment when lady luck smiled. She was there, a stranger, hiding in the dark. The funny thing is that I didn't even notice her, I didn't even realize she was talking to me. She said, on a low voice "hi". When she repeated it and it was obvious she was talking to me, I got the butterflies through my stomach and I probably turned into a red demon. I just wasn't prepared for that and I completely lost myself. But she smiled and said her name. We shook hands and spend a few minutes talking (actually, she was talking, I doubt I said 20 words). Then, all of a sudden, she told me she had to go. Of course, I was that stupid and still shocked that I didn't tell her something like "we should see each other again".
But she did. Yeah, I know, I'm completely lame, but I am still doing the recovery time (I reckon I'll be a stud in 10 days, maximum). So, she said something like "We get along well, we should definitely meet again" - and hell, we didn't even had a dialog, to be honest. But it doesn't matter. Even though she is a freak (honestly, know, I doubt a normal girl would do what she did) I'm going to score tonight! My first girl. C. is going to mark the beginning of my life!
I don't know if I did say everything and all these words I wrote made sense, but I am really in a hurry – we're going to meet in about half an hour. Just the two of us, in a nice cafe she picked. It's obvious what's going to happen, right? Wish me luck!
Progress, Already!
Open the champagne bottle and drink for me! Finally (and sooner than I was expecting it to happen, honestly) I made some progress. I didn’t, unfortunately, manage to write the first girl’s name on the list, but Mr Fast here got game! And I’m definitely on the right track.
Her name is C. We’re going to meet today and I really hope I’ll be able to write here yesterday’s story before we do. I’m at work now, though, and I wouldn’t like to be caught blogging by my boss. I am just really excited – Sunday nights are definitely the best times to meet girls!
Note: If you were wondering – no, I didn’t use the line I promised to use yesterday. You need guts to do that, tons of guts and that’s something I don’t have yet. But, since I have made some huge progress (and I did it sooner than D. was expecting), I’m sure I’ll soon be sailing. Yeah!
Jun 1, 2008
Pickup Lines
Really, I'm not yet desperate. But a bit of help is always great. So I have decided to check a few websites and get some inspiration for a few great pickup lines. Hey! I’m a man in need! Not to mention I haven’t done this for a looong time. So, please, stop laughing!
Because the real reasons to laugh are the lines themselves. If there is something they say, that is: “You’re hopeless if you are here now.” Here are a few random examples of pickup stupidity I found on that website:
Because the real reasons to laugh are the lines themselves. If there is something they say, that is: “You’re hopeless if you are here now.” Here are a few random examples of pickup stupidity I found on that website:
- My love for you is like the universe...neverending! (Come on, that’s lame! How could you madly love a person you don’t know???)
- Baby, you are everything I never knew I always wanted. (It’s obviously not something to say after a few drinks. And, even if you manage to say it right and flawlessly – what girl would buy such a crap?)
- Girl, your body is a wonderland, and I want to be
- I'm like a computer game, you can play with me all day long! (Girls DON’T play, honestly. Even more, they generally run away if they hear “computer geek”)
- I think you got a little food on your lip.. here let me lick it off for you. (Yuck! Really. YUCK!)
- “When I saw your face I thought I died and went to heaven” (Come on, now, that’s not a pickup line, that’s Brian Adams singing!)
- Hey baby you plus me equals we. (Oh, my god! I’m either way too old, or this list was made by dudes under 12. There’s no hope left in the world.)
Honestly, now. If you ever want to know how NOT to pick up a girl, just visit a pickup lines website. I know I am hopeless at the moment and my word doesn’t mean jack, but just read these lines (and, trust me, 99% of them are like that or even worse). Still, I might just have something. The one in a billion chance:
- “Hey, how’s it going? Do you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute“
Finally something I liked. I will use it tonight. And, after that I promise to myself that I will be original. Pickup lines really suck. Hope she’ll say yes. Whoever she is.
____________
Image credits: jilliansjournal
A Few Changes
Just a few notes, since I had a little chat with D., the friend that knows about all this and basically the one who started this whole madness (or, at least, to be madness).
We did a little math and 100 girls in 365 days, without counting ONSs is something we could call impossible. Honestly. So, starting now on, ONSs DO count. Yahoo!
Uhm… well… just sorta “yahoo!”… I still have to get myself together and start achieving something, after all! Last night was not something I could call encouraging...
Second, the “proofs” thing. I can’t really bring proofs to D. for every girl I’ll put under my spell (except if I do some completely wrong things, like hidden cams or such – which I am NOT going to). However, I gave him my word I won’t lie. I have no reason to – at least during the first 100 days :)
Uhm… well… just sorta “yahoo!”… I still have to get myself together and start achieving something, after all! Last night was not something I could call encouraging...
Second, the “proofs” thing. I can’t really bring proofs to D. for every girl I’ll put under my spell (except if I do some completely wrong things, like hidden cams or such – which I am NOT going to). However, I gave him my word I won’t lie. I have no reason to – at least during the first 100 days :)
And, at last, a blog-related thing. I said I will not promote my “adventure”. I have decided to do it, after all. Following my last night’s "success", I see that I need all the help and support in the world. Even though I will probably only receive hate-mail from girls. Well.. nobody’s perfect! So you should not pity the fool. He will change.
__________
Image credits: theretrobaby
Smashed, Squashed
Well… last night’s happenings are something I could call a bad start. Horrible start. Inability. Sad and pathetic. I have a lot of work to do now, that’s a sure thing!
I went to the club together with D., my only friend who knows about this bet, convinced by the fact that clubs are the best places where dudes like me should find easygoing girls and score. For me, it was completely false. Pure failure. I felt rusty, old, outdated – an alien, a person out of this world. A STRANGER.
To sum things up, I have tried to get my hands on… exactly 1 (ONE!) chick. There were tens of single girls there, yet I was afraid. Shy. Not ready. Mr. Fast the Unready. That should be my name.
So… back to the club. I was feeling a bit nervous, so I said it would be better if I started with a cocktail – you know, to make things a bit easier in the future. The bartender gave me the pinkish glass and said “Here you are, girl!” and I just knew it wasn’t going to be my night. I drank the cocktail. And two beers. Then, I wasted about 20 more minutes encouraging myself: “You can do it! You can do it!” Only then I had the guts to start dancing.
And who would’ve thought that finding a date is impossible in a club? My friend, D. certainly didn’t (but, hey! at least he had some great time making fun of me afterwards).
I noticed this girl, it seemed like she was looking at me. She wasn’t beautiful – a bit fat, dancing something that looked more like an African tribal dance, but she was OK. You gotta start somewhere. So, thanks to the ingested alcohol, I managed to get close enough to her, dance around and prepare the way for my opening line. My heart was like “Bang! Bang! Bang!” and I was starting to get very dizzy. My shirt was all wet and only God knows why I was so afraid.
Only when she probably had lost the last bit of interest in me, I finally had the guts to say something. “Hi,” I said and probably my face was so red and stupid that the girl laughed and turned away. Imagine that! I am pathetic. I wasted an entire night just to say “Hi” to a girl that laughed at me. It’s hard to get reborn. To start your new life. To understand dating, to understand what dating means, to get your skills back. But I’m not giving up. I will turn all things around.
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