Showing posts with label street pick up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label street pick up. Show all posts
Aug 15, 2008
How to get Emo chicks
Honestly, I have had very few contacts with emo kids, emo as a phenomenon and I doubt I have ever listened to any Emo music (at least if I did, I never knew what it was). Anyway, I kept hearing jokes about these sad kids and my general idea about emo people was that they kind of sucked… you know, as in “pathetic losers”...Yesterday night I went to have a drink with a friend of mine and we ended making fun of these “pathetic losers” – none of us actually knowing what “being emo” means. You know, it was the talk before you think thing – it's not a first for me, unfortunately :D
Anyway, after a while, we got to the brilliant conclusion that since Emo chicks consider themselves pathetic losers, good-for-nothing babes, ugly and God knows what else, it would be pretty easy to get them. I mean… if I were a desperate, 350 lbs dude with stinky breath and a 3 inch wiener, I’d probably accept any girl. You get the idea. What matters the most is the fact that we decided to start a new marathon: get the emo chicks.
Of course, there were two problems here: we were I know, a complete piece of crap, but when you’re drunk, some things seem nothing but pure genius!
So we kept walking, emptying the backpack and not finding any emo chicks. Of course, we were so caught up with our plans and fantasies and stuff that we probably passed by tons of good to get girls… but it doesn’t matter, because in the end we got what we deserved and it was priceless!
In a slightly illuminated area, there were groups of two people (4-5, at most) sitting in pairs every here and there, drinking and talking and smoking. Emo girls! My friend and I got our eyes on the most pathetic looking of them all (a chick with a strange Sonic-like hairstyle and a little chubby one having Cloud’s haircut). Anyway, two lonely girls, pissed off on life,
willing to let us prove them things are actually better. Or just do them, no strings attached :DSo we sat down relatively close to the girls – we didn’t want to appear to be too pushy, not to scare them and we started to talk. Being funny. Probably utterly failing, since we were drunk, but back then everything seemed great. Anyway… eventually we started to talk about the fact that we were all alone, that we could use some company… stuff like that, preparing the big approach and the big "getting of the emo chicks" followed by an effortless night of banging and good-bye-baby. It wasn’t meant to be.
Because before we ended our flirting program, the two Emo chicks got up and one said to another something like: “Let’s go, dude! These gay fu*** are horrible” and the chubby one agreed: “F***ing fa*s!” We were shocked. We just did our best (even though drunk) to get two guys! Our highly anticipated success with the Emo chicks proved to be a total fluke. And, man, last night was the moment when I decided: never trust these Emo persons again. You can really not be sure if they take their trousers down and prove to be some hunky dudes! Eeeek!
Aug 6, 2008
Worst. Pick up. Line. EVER
I sometimes manage to surprise myself with my utter stupidity and complete lack of flirting skills. Actually, sometimes I am so bad at flirting that I just wonder how come I’m not a virgin anymore. Honestly, I suck – and here is my latest example of absolute rubbish flirting.I was out with one of my friends to grab a bite to eat and we were silently sitting at a table, having nothing to do. A chick – that type of girl who thinks about herself that she’s the top of the world – who was sipping from a diet Coke at a nearby table started to giggle at the stuff me and my fried were saying – we were indeed telling some funny stuff and we started to do our best when we noticed she was paying attention.
So we kept talking for a few more minutes, she kept giggling and we were getting ready to introduce ourselves to her, when she makes the second step, too. She says to me something like: “I see you’re into sports. Do you know when the Olympic Games start?” (just to make things clear: we were indeed talking about sports).
I know, not the most clever thing to say, but she’s a girl and she took the initiative – something girls rarely do. But my utter stupidity, lack of concentration and experience, as well as COMPLETELY wrong idea about what flirting means, resulted in this answer: “I have no idea, but I’d start some Olympics with you right now”.
She didn’t slap me, but my friend almost punched me. Instantly I realized how rude that was – what a horrendous, pitty pick-up line or follow-up line or whatever flirting related thing… I was nothing but an a$$hole.
Honestly now, for everybody reading – I’m not like that. It just happened to me now. I was feeling cool and though I should act cool. However, I just proved a complete lack of style and that costed me dearly – otherwise I would’ve been bust doing it right now...
Jun 8, 2008
Street pick up?
Unbelievable, I agree, but I did it! Of course, not as often as I would’ve liked to, but I did it! For about half an hour I walked down the streets just to look for girls to tell they’re beautiful. I don’t know how many there were (six or seven or something like that), but things look pretty promising:
- None tried to hit me.
- None ran away/screamed/called the police.
- About half of the girls didn’t even look at me when I said that (or, even more, they ostentatiously looked the opposite way. Oh, well…)
- The other half either smiled, either fearfully whispered a “Thanks”.
- None tried to hit me!
So everything seems to be great at the moment. I have the guts. There is nothing harder to do than randomly walk down the street and suddenly say to somebody “You’re beautiful” without sounding like a maniac. What’s even better, girls seem to dig this and a 50% chance of scoring/dating/holding hands is much better than none. Riiiight? So I’ll keep doing it. It’s good for the confidence. And, who knows, maybe I'll be able to develop a street pickup (or pick up?) technique and become some sort of guru for relationships and dating. LOL
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