Showing posts with label emo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emo. Show all posts
Aug 15, 2008
How to get Emo chicks
Honestly, I have had very few contacts with emo kids, emo as a phenomenon and I doubt I have ever listened to any Emo music (at least if I did, I never knew what it was). Anyway, I kept hearing jokes about these sad kids and my general idea about emo people was that they kind of sucked… you know, as in “pathetic losers”...Yesterday night I went to have a drink with a friend of mine and we ended making fun of these “pathetic losers” – none of us actually knowing what “being emo” means. You know, it was the talk before you think thing – it's not a first for me, unfortunately :D
Anyway, after a while, we got to the brilliant conclusion that since Emo chicks consider themselves pathetic losers, good-for-nothing babes, ugly and God knows what else, it would be pretty easy to get them. I mean… if I were a desperate, 350 lbs dude with stinky breath and a 3 inch wiener, I’d probably accept any girl. You get the idea. What matters the most is the fact that we decided to start a new marathon: get the emo chicks.
Of course, there were two problems here: we were I know, a complete piece of crap, but when you’re drunk, some things seem nothing but pure genius!
So we kept walking, emptying the backpack and not finding any emo chicks. Of course, we were so caught up with our plans and fantasies and stuff that we probably passed by tons of good to get girls… but it doesn’t matter, because in the end we got what we deserved and it was priceless!
In a slightly illuminated area, there were groups of two people (4-5, at most) sitting in pairs every here and there, drinking and talking and smoking. Emo girls! My friend and I got our eyes on the most pathetic looking of them all (a chick with a strange Sonic-like hairstyle and a little chubby one having Cloud’s haircut). Anyway, two lonely girls, pissed off on life,
willing to let us prove them things are actually better. Or just do them, no strings attached :DSo we sat down relatively close to the girls – we didn’t want to appear to be too pushy, not to scare them and we started to talk. Being funny. Probably utterly failing, since we were drunk, but back then everything seemed great. Anyway… eventually we started to talk about the fact that we were all alone, that we could use some company… stuff like that, preparing the big approach and the big "getting of the emo chicks" followed by an effortless night of banging and good-bye-baby. It wasn’t meant to be.
Because before we ended our flirting program, the two Emo chicks got up and one said to another something like: “Let’s go, dude! These gay fu*** are horrible” and the chubby one agreed: “F***ing fa*s!” We were shocked. We just did our best (even though drunk) to get two guys! Our highly anticipated success with the Emo chicks proved to be a total fluke. And, man, last night was the moment when I decided: never trust these Emo persons again. You can really not be sure if they take their trousers down and prove to be some hunky dudes! Eeeek!
Jun 10, 2008
Feeling Emo
Being, acting or just feeling emo is not something I really enjoy doing. Honestly, it is something I consider lame. But emo is exactly how I feel like now. Because it’s Tuesday and I still had no other experiences following my quick stupid adventure with C. And the strangest thing is not that I am too ugly, the girls keep saying no or anything similar. I am just too lazy – I don’t do anything. I don’t walk down the street and tell girls they are beautiful. I don’t ask girls if they want a ride, if I’m in my car. I just suck. I am a poor little fellow that can do nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. I’m just pathetic. A poor soul who’s never going to date again. Heh. I’m such an EMO!
PS: No, really now! I am NOT emo!
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