Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Aug 15, 2008
How to get Emo chicks
Honestly, I have had very few contacts with emo kids, emo as a phenomenon and I doubt I have ever listened to any Emo music (at least if I did, I never knew what it was). Anyway, I kept hearing jokes about these sad kids and my general idea about emo people was that they kind of sucked… you know, as in “pathetic losers”...Yesterday night I went to have a drink with a friend of mine and we ended making fun of these “pathetic losers” – none of us actually knowing what “being emo” means. You know, it was the talk before you think thing – it's not a first for me, unfortunately :D
Anyway, after a while, we got to the brilliant conclusion that since Emo chicks consider themselves pathetic losers, good-for-nothing babes, ugly and God knows what else, it would be pretty easy to get them. I mean… if I were a desperate, 350 lbs dude with stinky breath and a 3 inch wiener, I’d probably accept any girl. You get the idea. What matters the most is the fact that we decided to start a new marathon: get the emo chicks.
Of course, there were two problems here: we were I know, a complete piece of crap, but when you’re drunk, some things seem nothing but pure genius!
So we kept walking, emptying the backpack and not finding any emo chicks. Of course, we were so caught up with our plans and fantasies and stuff that we probably passed by tons of good to get girls… but it doesn’t matter, because in the end we got what we deserved and it was priceless!
In a slightly illuminated area, there were groups of two people (4-5, at most) sitting in pairs every here and there, drinking and talking and smoking. Emo girls! My friend and I got our eyes on the most pathetic looking of them all (a chick with a strange Sonic-like hairstyle and a little chubby one having Cloud’s haircut). Anyway, two lonely girls, pissed off on life,
willing to let us prove them things are actually better. Or just do them, no strings attached :DSo we sat down relatively close to the girls – we didn’t want to appear to be too pushy, not to scare them and we started to talk. Being funny. Probably utterly failing, since we were drunk, but back then everything seemed great. Anyway… eventually we started to talk about the fact that we were all alone, that we could use some company… stuff like that, preparing the big approach and the big "getting of the emo chicks" followed by an effortless night of banging and good-bye-baby. It wasn’t meant to be.
Because before we ended our flirting program, the two Emo chicks got up and one said to another something like: “Let’s go, dude! These gay fu*** are horrible” and the chubby one agreed: “F***ing fa*s!” We were shocked. We just did our best (even though drunk) to get two guys! Our highly anticipated success with the Emo chicks proved to be a total fluke. And, man, last night was the moment when I decided: never trust these Emo persons again. You can really not be sure if they take their trousers down and prove to be some hunky dudes! Eeeek!
Jun 30, 2008
The funny faker
Don’t you just hate these guys who have “fake” written all over their body? What about those who keep injecting steroids and love to compliment one another: “Uh, dude! You gotz a fit azz!”, while talking like a mini - Arnold? Well… I know I can’t really stand them.
And today I witnessed how one of these cyborg-dudes was silenced by a skinny girl (she was a quarter of his size). I laughed like a mad man and instantly knew I had to share.
So… I was drinking a hot frappe coffee during my lunch break, admiring the girls and their adorable summer clothing (I had no intentions of flirting yet, though – last week was enough for me, for the moment, of course). Anyway… just a few tables away was this guy: huge (as in muscle-huge), bald and, I must admit, a quite scary fellow. He was sipping some natural juice from a bottle and probably had his hormones skating and felt the need to get a girl.
A short, very skinny girl was passing by his table when he decided to be a “male”: he reached out his had, like a barrier and stopped her by saying something smart like “Hey, babe!”. Even though I would’ve probably pissed my pants in such a moment, the girl had a great, priceless reaction any date fanatic would’ve applauded. She said “They should photograph you and show the pic to the kids and say ‘Don’t do steroids!’”know how to flirt! (and I’m one of them :D) Thank God I’m not pumping my biceps’ too!
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Image credits: Robert Kopecky
Jun 28, 2008
I’m still alive (part II)
And it’s not only that I’m still alive, but I am also home. Finally! And, for at least 24 hours, I don’t even want to think about dating, flirting, girls and my plan to have the fun in a teenager's way :D. I just want to jump into the bed (alone) and sleep and forget about everything that happened to me during this short mini-vacation. Of course, I shall tell you first as much of the story as I can (and it all seems to have happened years ago…)
So… after I was literary thrown out of the apartment, mad to the bone, I wanted to jump into the car and drive home, as any sane person would probably do. However, A. was pretty pissed off, too, and she invited me to have a drink: “I know a cheap bar with cheap booze to get us wasted. It’s close to my apartment”. Now… as mad as a male can be, he cannot ignore or refuse the innocent and subtle “let’s go f*** our brains out” from a beautiful girl. Basically, we had started something in T's apartment and we wanted to finish the "job" somehow. So I have accepted her invitation.
Bad decision!
Because that bar we went to, even though an indeed really cheap one, was filled with drunken people who got their testosterone level to skyrocket when they saw me and A. (uhm... basically, I'm sure that happened because they saw her, not me :D - she is indeed a really good looking girl – though, I am sure it didn’t matter too much for the guys in the bar). Of course, I noticed that instantly and so did she, but she still insisted we should at least drink something before leaving. And I accepted to stay there, since she made me understand that we were going to spend the night at her place. Oh, sacrifices...
However, the guys started to get really horny and pushy and I was already set to “fight mode” because of what happened earlier. Still, thanks to a lot of luck, a few well placed words from A and the begging of the bartender, I did not start a fight there and left (I am under no circumstances the “fighter” nor a guy who considers it “manly” to fight in bars or wherever… still, this time was different since I was really stressed).
But when we left, one of the guys from the bar followed us (I’m still thankful it was only one) and hit me when I was completely unaware of his presence. He was probably planning to abuse A. too, or God knows what, but he didn’t even get the chance to get close to her, because a couple of her neighbors were luckily outside and jumped in to help us. So I was, thankfully, the only victim. Yes, I'm still a wuss :D.
In the end, everything was pretty OK, though – A. took me to her apartment, took good care of me, treated my wounds and… since I was in such a pain, she took care of all the swellings on my body, if you know what I mean. And you should do, because I will definitely never forget that – such a pleasant combination between pure pleasure, the pain of the wounds and, eventually, the relief of losing all the stress I had accumulated until then. It was pure heaven! As soon as she finished pleasing me orally, I went immediately asleep, like a little baby (and probably she thought I was a complete moron but, hey! that’s life sometimes!)
And indeed a new life it was – the beginning of my new mini-vacation within the mini-vacation (or something strange like that). The new beginning, I could say. Because another interesting day followed. But I will try to tell what happened in a later post. Now I just want to rest a bit. It’s great to be home and feel the love. (I just said that "love" thing in the end because I think this picture below doesn't really fit the story :D)
Jun 8, 2008
Waiting for progress
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away… Neee, I’m just bragging with my musical knowledge. Heh. Last night was strange. Just strange and nothing more. And I have to credit the five beers I drank for that.
I got no chick last night. I saw quite a few lovely ladies, I would’ve loved to take all of them home, but I was (once again) just too stupid. I am not at all good at these sorts of things. I totally suck when it comes to women and there seems to be no fast cure for me. Maybe that previous plan of mine might help, but I totally doubt it. However, I am sure that my salvation will come. I’m a lucky person, you know?
The truth is that C. called me while I was at the club. She probably thought I was just being an a*shole the other day, so she allowed me to re-think the whole situation. It’s just an unfortunate timing, I could say: she wants a relationship; I want revenge on all females. Otherwise, I would’ve given it a shot… But since the situation is different, I have to keep searching.
No… allow me to rectify the whole thing: I have to insist, flirt non stop, and DO something. Searching is for losers. I need action. Yet… last night I did nothing. I just looked. Scanned. Searched! Saw the girls, did nothing, lost them forever. I will never see them again, I will never know if I could’ve been in a foreigner’s bed now, checking my second successful date on the list. Oh, well… at least I got completely drunk (I get drunk quite fast, unfortunately) and forgot about the mss I find myself into...
And now, I will go for a short walk. At least 20 minutes I will randomly walk on the streets, looking for single girl and I will hopefully be able to tell them “You’re beautiful”. Just like that!
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