Showing posts with label discussion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discussion. Show all posts
Jul 14, 2008
A relatively good start of the week
Unlike last week when I was tired, wasted and ready to be controlled by my boss, I started this week full of life, energy and desire to win as many girls as possible. My flirting mana is to maximum levels, my charm is maximized, too and I am ready to hit the top spot as often as possible: this week I want to break some records when it comes to girls I get my hands on, since I kind of lost momentum and I don't want to make it a habit.Of course, I did not get too many chances today since I still spend most of my time in an office, but at least I tried a bit more to find out what I.’s intentions really are: as I said before, it’s a really tricky situation here and things could get completely messed up if I do something wrong (I am talking, of course, about the only wrong thing I want to do – with work colleagues, it could get pretty tough :D).
Anyway, I kind of stalked I. the whole day and tried to learn her habits, try to “read” if she’s the type who wants commitment or fun. Of course, my eagle eye skills told me nothing about that, but while I was looking and looking and looking at her I did notice something: she’s quite pretty and I’m not the only guy working there who checks her out. And that made me a little bit anxious. I need to have her!
During the lunch break, I “accidentally” ran into her and we shared the same table for a wonderful hour. I tried to keep the flirting to a minimum and act as natural as possible (just as I said a while ago about the whole flirting technique) and she proved to be a really charming, enjoyable person – there are moments when you realize even more that women should never be treated as I try to treat them, that they are human beings and they really deserve much more attention than we (as in men) are ready to offer. However, I have a quest here and, as unpleasant as it is, I have to keep going.
And that was about it today. I just got to meet her a bit better, we talked, we enjoyed each other, we promised to spend some more time together. By the end of the week I need to have had her in my bed already and I need to move on – I noticed that, starting the “O incident” I started to become a bit too sensitive when it comes to girl. That should change, for at least 11 more months.
Jul 6, 2008
A perfect time in the company of a lady
Her name is O. I could say that we’re friends since we were born – we were never lovers, but we always talked about “what if…” We used to flirt, usually online, since she was miles and miles away from me (or vice-versa, depending on the point of view :D). We used to say that whenever we will meet again, if we'll ever meet again, we’ll have a night to remember. And that happened last night.
I went to pick her up from our meeting place, feeling nervous, feeling the butterflies in the stomach – exactly as you feel when you first fall in love, with the only exception that I was not in love (nor falling). I was very excited, though – meeting a girl you have talked that much with, you have known for that long and you admire (yes, I really admire O.), meeting her for the first time, face to face, after a ten year long break – that is something! My heart was beating like it was on steam, my mind was in the 20th cloud and I was over excited – happily, I managed not to hit any car and safely reached the destination.
When I saw her, I felt my knees are weak, I felt the ground trying to swallow me: she was more beautiful than I was anticipating (even though I have seen her tens of times on webcam – it’s completely different in real life!). She was no longer the little girl I used to play hide and seek with and do all sorts of strange things – somehow, I was still considering her a child until we met. She was a woman, she was smoking hot, she had a great, fit body, a perfect tan, a smile that could make you smile back instantly, she just had an aura which made you feel like hugging her, like a little child. Which I did – and when I touched her soft, perfumed skin, I felt the electrifying sensation of love. Or something very similar. Something which is hard to explain and it is not necessary sexual.
We kept talking – we had a LOT of catching up to do, she had a lot to say, there were a lot of sweet memories from when we were kids and used to play out in the yard together... When she talked, she kept looking straight into my eyes. Every now and then she was biting her lower lip – and I never saw before something as sensual as that. It was like the forbidden fruit, it was like the ripest apple: something you HAD to taste. But she was just teasing. She was smiling, seeing how uncomfortable that was making me. She was just playing – it was nothing but a game for her, as it happened when we used to chat online. It was not a date. She was not really flirting. Or… was she?
The music was great: we listened to a few “hits” from our childhood, we laughed when we remembered how 
much we loved that crap; she danced a little, teasing me even more, when one of her favorite hip hop tracks started playing; she innocently looked at me when Nick Cave started to sing his duet with PJ Harvey – one of the best and strangest love songs ever created, Henry Lee (and we danced); then, thanks to the shuffle mode, Another Level began when they started singing Freak me (and we kissed - suddenly, quickly, without warning).
I thought that was the beginning. I was aching for her. I was aching to feel her, I was planning to get her to bed and never let her go. Or so I was thinking. But she had other plans. She said “So that’s how it feels kissing you” then stoarted t dance again. When I tried to kiss her again, she didn’t allow me to. She started to talk in riddles: “Life’s a game,” she said. “Well, I really want to play,” I said, and it was probably the line of my life. She just giggled and told me to get us something to drink.
You can imagine that I was sure we were just “warming up” – drinks, music, dancing, her biting her lips, looking sexy, being sexy, breathing sexy… you get the deal. However, we just talked. Yes, sorry to disappoint you – we only talked, about everything, about anything. But I really had the time of my life. Hopefully it was the same for her – I don’t know, she seemed to have had everything well planned way before. Because she said,
during a silence break, when I was starting to get lost into her beautiful eyes: “I want to spend the night with you. I want to sleep over. I won’t, because we both know what would happen in such a case. And we both want that, too. But we should not – I’ll tell you tomorrow why”. A riddle again, but I accepted to play. I could’ve sold my soul to the devil during those moments, just to be sure I’ll get the chance to spend more time with her. So we talked a bit more. I asked her if can I take a few pictures of her “to share with the world”. What you see in the post is the result.
And the next day began. Today. We met again – she wanted us to “go out,” and I was her slave, I would’ve gone anywhere. We went and visited a few of the places where we used to play when we were kids and, once again, sweet memories began to come back to us. She took me to the park and we walked through the alleys, hand in hand – she said all that was everything we would’ve done if she wouldn’t have gone in the
But I was starting to wonder when that “I’ll tell you tomorrow why” thing will happen. When were we going to get back to my place and go to heaven. She kept delaying that, she kept walking, she kept exploring, she kept bringing me to life. And I was soon going to understand what was her plan. Her brilliance. That particular something which makes her to be as special as I consider her to be.
After countless hours of walking and talking and never getting bored, while we were resting in a pub, drinking a soda, she started to explain (and, like I did until know, I will quote her from my memory): “Being together with you is a wonderful thing,” she said. “It’s fun, it’s great, it’s much better than what I was remembering to be. It feels better than when we were kids, it is much better than what I was imagining when we talked online…” She was looking straight into my eyes, holding my hand. I was muted. “Just like I said last night, I want to go home with you, I want to feel you deep inside me, I want us to have the same great time we had until now. BUT I don’t want this ‘special’ feeling to fade away. I don’t want my memories for you to be, in a couple of years: ‘the guy I spent some quality time with and had sex and left and it was OK’. I don’t want this pain I’m feeling to go away, I don’t want you to scratch this itch, because I want the memories. Because I want to remember you, exactly as I knew you until now: great, special, unique. Sex would destroy the whole thing and I want it unaltered. I want to always feel this itch and always ask myself ‘what if,” she said. And that, my friends, was the best “I love you” I ever heard in my life. That was the moment I started to think that My Girl Quest is pointless. That life is pointless. That O. is the only person in the world who matters.
She is going to leave in a short trip in the country for a few days, then come back here for one or two more days, then forever leave the country (and maybe just to visit every ten years, as it happened now). Miles and miles will be between us but, as she said, the memory will never die. And probably that’s the best thing for both of us – to always remember. Because, in my humble opinion, there is nothing worst than being forgotten. Than losing the last shade of love from the person you loved the most. I know, one can’t generally speak about love after (basically) one date, but this is different. This is a life lesson she wanted to teach me, this is something only a great person would or could do. O. is that wonderful person and only know I realize how complete my life is, because I know her. Because she is my friend. Because I did not ruin everything with a pointless sex session. Yes, I truly believe her – there are times (special times, like this one, one of a kind moments) when sex is really pointless. Otherwise, I wouldn’t say now, from all my heart, that I had the best time of my life during this weekend. The best. Thanks, O.!
Jun 3, 2008
About my girl quest
Instant messaging programs are great when you combine them with work *giggles* Usually, I keep chatting about all sorts of random things with my friends but now it was just a bit different. I was a bit upset and deluded following my last evening’s failure, so I started a completely NSFW chat with one of my penpals. Or whatever you call a person you only talk with and which is from a far away country. A good online-friend, I might add, a person I know for at least 3 years now. Anyway, the idea is that I told her about my bet to score 100 girls in 365 days and she had a horrible reaction.
She said something like (I’m quoting from my memory): “I thought you were a better person, that you have a soul, unlike the other hunting males in the world, that you know dating is one thing and sex marathons are another”. She said I have no heart, that I will only become a huge pain in the girl’ hearts, a nightmare they'll pray to forget, that I will make them suffer just to feed my dying ego, just to prove myself the most stupid thing: that I am a male.
I don’t know if she is right. Of course, the way things are looking now, I’m not only a complete wuss who has no idea how to date, flirt, begin a relationship or just score to win his bet with life, but I am also the one who gets hurt, trashed and squashed by his victims. The complete idiocy, the supreme proof of “God has forgotten about me” syndrome. I’m the loser at the moment and it’s not a really great feeling, to be honest.
However, no matter if I fail or not, this is just a game! I will not ruin anybody’s life to keep my ego pumped! I am not going to make no girl cry for me, honestly, now! I’m the one who got effed up by the person who meant the world for. Please, allow me to live my life and don’t call me an egoistical creature! I’m the victim here, just so everybody knows!
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