My Girl Quest

Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts

Aug 27, 2008

Plans for the future

Out of various reasons (one of the most important being the fact that I keep failing), I have decided to end My Girl Quest. Initially I wanted to put an end to this blog, too, but eventually I have decided not to. It will become my personal blog (so basically, about the same thing that it was until now) that will only be focused to keep me occupied a bit more in my busy life :)

I will stop dropping on Entrecard and, as soon as the last add will expire, I will stop using the service. Not because it is not great, but because I want to keep a low profile for a while. I'll be adding all the friends I made during this small period of blogging to my blogroll and I hope we'll keep in touch. So... until next time, whenever that is, remember one thing: Don't start a Girl Quest unless you are THE Don Juan :) It will fail (especially if you don't have time). See ya all!

Jul 24, 2008

It comes a time when your luck disappears... that time is now!

Ever since I started my Girl Quest I was very lucky – I’m not a charmer, I’m not a real flirt, I’m not a ladies man. Yet, I have managed to score far more chicks than I or anybody else would’ve expected. I was starting to get the feeling the scoring chicks is actually something so easy or something I’m so good at that I should become some kind of relationship guru or whatever. The truth is that I’m far, far from something like that. And I’m running out of luck, too.

Just as I was supposed to, I went out to meet with P. – she insisted I shouldn’t come and pick her up – so I took the table, ordered the drinks and waited for her, creating all sorts of scenarios in my mind on how the night will go: each and every one of my scenarios ended with the two of us at my place, in my bed, doing the wild thing. I was ready. She was going to get IT.

Or not.

When she arrived, everything was looking great: she was looking great, her perfume was smelling great, even I was feeling OK and not tired, which is a first for the past couple of weeks when I was over-tired from work. Anyway, we started to talk – nothing important, just the regular talk, the prelude, the “how was your day” sort of things you’re talking first. It should’ve been at least a decent night, with two people feeling great together if it wouldn’t have been for the phone.

You know… THE PHONE. I might be a bit paranoid, but usually girls tell some friend to call them for “something urgent and important” in case they don’t like their date. That something happened during her date with me, apparently, because somebody called her, she acted pretty surprised and told me she really has to go. Of course, I offered her my help and said I’ll go with her, but she refused. “It’s something personal,” she said. “I’ll be back”.

Every time I hear that line I think Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator and it doesn’t sound great. I was sure she was not going to come back, but I decided to wait just a bit more – about 15 minutes, just as long as it took me to finish my beer and feel horrible all alone in the crowded pub. Then I called her and the rest was as expected: she was terribly sorry, but she was almost certain she was not going to comeback, so I’d better go home and we’ll meet again. Yeah, right! I just don't understand why she had to do it during our third date... did she keep trying and hoped to get something out of me and I was unable to comply?

And I don’t understand why I am so unlucky. Can things change over night – from the luckiest guy in the world to the most sorrow? I only seem to meet girls who seem to be attracted by my looks/personality/whatever, but then they run away. Does my breath smell bad? Am I actually a horrible person to be around with, the ugly duck, the boring fellow? I have no idea, but things are going wrong. As in horribly wrong and I don’t know why.
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UPDATE: Screw that! I’m not that ugly, after all. I have just posted this entry and P. called me, saying she’s sorry and that if I want she can come and meet me. I told her I’m home, she seemed to agree to come here. She said she’ll tell me about her problem, but I don’t really care, as long as thing are finally as they seem to be: in my favor! I’m going to pick her up. Hopefully, there won’t be a second update where I’ll cry for being dumped again. :)

Jul 15, 2008

Relative state of mind: wasted, idiotic

Today was a really strange day and it got proved to me that you can’t understand women. Period. Or that men are just creatures who have no idea about the most basic social interaction types – you talk, I talk, we both listen and that’s it. Nooo, it always has to be a bit more complicated and the “bad” thing has to be on my side. Forever and ever, like a curse, like something which will always go wrong.

Today was one of those days when something unexpected happened at my workplace and they allowed us to go home about four hours earlier. I took advantage of the situation and invited I. (a work colleague who I believe wants IT from me) to have a drink with me. She accepted and we went to a pub nearby. And we started to drink and talked and everything was fine – we were both getting pretty dizzy and I was starting to think if we should go to my place or hers. One thing was clear: we were going to do it and only the day after I was going to worry about what I did. A classic, male-ish situation.

On the other hand, apparently she was in a classic, feminine situation, since when I asked her: “Want to continue it at my place,” she honestly asked me: “Why?” Just like that, plain and simple question I couldn’t have answered honestly in a hundred years. A question I never anticipated and which hit me like a hammer, crushed me like a bug and put me to silent mode.

“Why?” she asked again while I was still staring at her like the dumbest Dumbo, sweating like a pig and trying to find a way out of the whole situation. Unfortunately, the only thing that got to me then was a classic, rather outdated line: I told her I had a bottle of great wine at home. “You’re so silly sometimes,” she replied. “I don’t like wine!”

It was crystal clear: she wanted IT no longer (no pun intended, honestly). After days of looking at me, telling me I’m cute, telling me she has no friends, that she feels alone, that she needs a life… after accepting my God damned invitation to go for a drink (as in just the two of us!) she no longer wants IT. IF she ever wanted IT. I no longer understand anything and I feel like a complete idiot. Was she giving me hints or my mind was playing tricks? Did she change her mind? Was she too scared? I guess I’ll never know, but one thing is clear: I. won’t be on my list too soon :D

Jul 5, 2008

Tough night

Following the success I had with girls during my strange mini vacation, last night I went very confident at the club. I kept repeating myself that flirting is no longer a secret to me, that girls will stand in a queue to get me – crazy stuff like that which only works in “How to…” books. Real life is different, though, it is… real. And it proved me, once again, that I still have a lot to do until I become a real flirt, a real spin doctor.

The night kicked off pretty nice: the club was not over-crowded as it usually is (it’s starting to get way too hot for spending your nights in between four walls) the extra clothes were definitely missing, so the girls were a delight to look at – all in all, it was a great atmosphere. However, this doesn’t mean much if you don’t know lots of details about the art of picking girls up – and I don’t. Though, I might say it’s good to get rejected after a heavenly week – it makes you be more realistic and doesn’t let you get too carried away.

Basically, there is not too much to say – “I got rejected by everybody” would kind of sum up the whole thing. Hopefully because I was just way too confident that my looks are enough and I did not try too much. The truth is, though, that there are lots of men out there who are looking at least as good as I do (this “I look good” thing is a personal opinion of mine. Oh, and my mom used to say that to me, too :D). Anyway, the idea is that no matter how good you look like, if you don’t try, if you don’t have something to say, a hook to get the girl and the brains to keep her connected, she will probably ignore you, in the end. And the truth is I did not try too much.

My first “victim” was a pretty childish attempt from me: I kept looking at her from my comfy chair, smiled every now and then, trying to make her come to me. Well, she did not. And because of my ego I did not go to her either. 10 minutes later she was dancing with another.

Then, with a few girls, I tried to use pick up lines (and I just hate the idea of a pick up lines!) and, of course, it didn’t work. It’s hard for something that has been said a thousand times before to have any chances of success… After three or four more failures I got pretty desperate I’m not going to score and started to care. I was a bit too drunk, though and too under pressure, probably, since I tried getting two other girls and I missed.

So, basically, I can say it was a pretty tough night for me: tried to pick up six girls, got none. This could mean, for many, that they should go hide in a cave and only leave at night, when the kids are sleeping. For me, it means that I’m still far from being what I plan to be. I still have a lot of work to do and way more girls to meet. So I’ll just keep going, without looking back.

Jun 19, 2008

Bad week, after all

It’s been a really bad week for me. M. returned to mess a bit with my life, I was not able to score at least one chick and, even worse, I did almost nothing to heighten my chances - no flirting, no meeting of new girls, no nothing. Just failure, failure, failure. And hoping to get the best out of weekends and doing nothing else during the week is definitely a bad thing to do: I need at least two girls per week and it’s very likely I will not get them during the weekend.

I need to make new friends, somehow. I need to keep going out, I need to experiment and explore. Because soon my circle of friends will have no girls to offer to me. :D The virgin to be sacrificed on the altar. LOL.

I’m taking a week off from work next week since I am getting very tired. I think I should get out of town. Go visit a friend or something. Improve my chances of meeting new girls, flirting with them and convincing them I deserve their love. Because surfing for girls or playing sim date games is not going to help me. So, unless I want to become a new Onan, I have to get my ass up this chair!

Jun 17, 2008

Paranoid flirting freak

There are a ton of things to say about my life / feelings / girl quest / everything today, that I don’t even know what to start with. One thing is sure: I’m slowly turning into a paranoid and I have absolutely no reason to be like that – like there’s any good moment to turn into a paranoid!

First things first: Yesterday’s party was a complete mess. A total fluke. The biggest miss ever. You get the idea. First of all because, as you can imagine, I got no date out of it. There were quite a few M-type of girls, but none seemed to be the type ready to go all the way to my bed. There was this particular chick – the self-confident type, the one that will make her first million by shaking her ass and the rest of five by marrying an old fart who’ll die a couple of weeks later… so, as I was saying, there was this particular chick I completely wanted to get. Just to do her and dump her. Date her and leave her. Make her understand that the entire universe does not revolve around her. I failed and it seems that she managed, without even trying, to show me that the world actually revolves around her. I am so pathetic sometimes… and that was just the beginning!

Because M. showed up and acted like we never met before (which was OK with me, up to a point). That point was when she had already danced with everybody in the room except for me (you know – the mating call). It sucks to be left behind. It sucks to go somewhere where one thing is clear: you’ll score, but you do not manage to do it. Damn, I think that every guy actually managed to score twice and I lost all the time with that full of herself chick. If I can’t manage to flirt properly with these ONS-ready chicks, I’m doomed!

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Of course, this party I went to last night had the anticipated result: an uber-tiredness and absolutely no mood for working or flirting (had I got the chance). I was so dizzy and wasted that if the most beautiful girl in the world came to the room and asked “Who’s single,” I would’ve pointed at my colleague, just to be sure she leaves me alone. And it’s even worse that tonight will only get me even more tired. And not because of some marathons in bed (at least not with a girl, which is even more sad!)

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I have been spotted. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later – and it happened sooner. Heh. However, it seems that it’s not actually any “spotting” involved – it’s just a coincidence. But it was something that scared the hell out of me – there are some people who would completely ruin my chances of achieving the goal I have in mind (yes, the one nobody knows about – to score 100 girls in one year). Because no girl would give you a piece of some sweet loving if she knew you were only doing it for the numbers…

Jun 1, 2008

Smashed, Squashed

Well… last night’s happenings are something I could call a bad start. Horrible start. Inability. Sad and pathetic. I have a lot of work to do now, that’s a sure thing!

I went to the club together with D., my only friend who knows about this bet, convinced by the fact that clubs are the best places where dudes like me should find easygoing girls and score. For me, it was completely false. Pure failure. I felt rusty, old, outdated – an alien, a person out of this world. A STRANGER.

To sum things up, I have tried to get my hands on… exactly 1 (ONE!) chick. There were tens of single girls there, yet I was afraid. Shy. Not ready. Mr. Fast the Unready. That should be my name.

So… back to the club. I was feeling a bit nervous, so I said it would be better if I started with a cocktail – you know, to make things a bit easier in the future. The bartender gave me the pinkish glass and said “Here you are, girl!” and I just knew it wasn’t going to be my night. I drank the cocktail. And two beers. Then, I wasted about 20 more minutes encouraging myself: “You can do it! You can do it!” Only then I had the guts to start dancing.

And who would’ve thought that finding a date is impossible in a club? My friend, D. certainly didn’t (but, hey! at least he had some great time making fun of me afterwards).

I noticed this girl, it seemed like she was looking at me. She wasn’t beautiful – a bit fat, dancing something that looked more like an African tribal dance, but she was OK. You gotta start somewhere. So, thanks to the ingested alcohol, I managed to get close enough to her, dance around and prepare the way for my opening line. My heart was like “Bang! Bang! Bang!” and I was starting to get very dizzy. My shirt was all wet and only God knows why I was so afraid.

Only when she probably had lost the last bit of interest in me, I finally had the guts to say something. “Hi,” I said and probably my face was so red and stupid that the girl laughed and turned away. Imagine that! I am pathetic. I wasted an entire night just to say “Hi” to a girl that laughed at me. It’s hard to get reborn. To start your new life. To understand dating, to understand what dating means, to get your skills back. But I’m not giving up. I will turn all things around.