May 31, 2008

The Rules

New haircut – check!

Shower – check!

Lots of perfume – check!

My best clothes – check!

I’m ready. In just a few hours, my new life will begin. I’m completely excited, yet I have to write all the details. The rules. Everything about this “bet”, this deal, this whatever…

My short little, pathetic story: five years ago I met M. – the perfect girl, the beauty, the queen, the best. Our relationship was perfect and I swear to God I’m not exaggerating when I say that all our common friends were envious – we had everything and it was all nothing but honey. About one and a half year ago we moved in together and only months after we started to plan our wedding. Everything was perfect. We were in Heaven.

Two months ago it was like Bang! Everything happened so fast and it was all so surprising that I didn’t even know how to react: she admitted she was dating another guy, she was no longer in love with me, we had to “take a break”. I was shocked. I never saw that coming, I never thought it could happen: I was so stupid that I actually believed we were the perfect couple. Of course, I was just an idiot. And, if it wasn’t for my friends, I’d still be one now.

But things will change. The midnight (the 1st of June) will mark the beginning of my new life. Here’s the deal:

My friends have made so much fun of me (and they were completely right) that it started to hurt: they said I was no longer a real man, that I completely lost the best 5 years of my life with M., that now I m so obsolete that I probably am not able to date anymore. And the saddest thing is that they’re completely right. But I’m going to right the wrongs, I’m going to act stupid (as some might consider) and turn myself from a wuss into a Don Juan… or whatever…

The idea is that I have exactly one year to compensate for the lost time: I have to lose the rust I have accumulated over the years, I have to remember what flirting means and I have to date as many girls as possible just for fun. No strings attached, no love, no romance. Just fun, if you know what I mean!

However, even though I am not the ugliest person on the face of Earth, I am 100% shy. And the fact that I haven’t flirted with a girl for 5 years now is not helping me. These being said, there are some rules: I am not allowed to take advantage of my financial wellness in order to get the girls. I am not allowed to tell them my sad story about M to make them “help” me. I am not allowed to take advantage of a drunk chick (and seriously, now – no real male would do that!) and it is completely forbidden to have no proof of my (eventually) sexcapades. We don’t know for sure what “proofs” mean, but one thing is clear: no ONSs are allowed. The goal: 100 girls in 365 days. I have faith in my strength. All my friends don’t, though. They say I can’t do it. We’ll see. about that. Now I’ll go to the club and I’ll hopefully prove them wrong.

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