My Girl Quest

Showing posts with label loser. Show all posts

Aug 13, 2008

Gentlemen don’t tell

There are some things a guy should keep for himself. There are accidents, stuff like that, things that can completely screw up your life (or, if you’re SMART enough, they can provide some good fun for you). Anyway, the idea is that sh*t happens. And all these “accidents” that happen along your lifetime just add up, sum up and eventually manage to drive you mad, no matter if you made fun of them or not. Because, generally, you don’t make fun of them. You can’t tell about this stuff to your friends – and it’s understandable. Gentlemen don’t tell. Period.

Because some things are made to be kept secrets. Or... ?

Last night, happy and excited, I found out that A, my latest flirting extravaganza, really meant it with the three dates rule (and, no matter how stupid I consider that idea or concept or whatever, I’m not going to talk about it right now). Anyway, the fact is that we were sharing my bed, cuddling and kissing, whispering and caressing each other – having fun and, all in all, we were getting ready to do it “as they do it on Discovery channel”. And then it happened: Badda Bing!

My body, my flirting king body rejected me and told me to go to Hell, after promising me the moon and some extra. Most unfortunate is that A. also promised me a looot of things (“I’ll do this and that and that, too”). Anyway… the idea is that everything was destroyed in just a couple of seconds… MAYBE a minute. Badda Bang!

Because I finished. I was done. “Oops”-like. “WTF-was-that?”-like. Badda Bing and no Boom Boom Boom. You get the idea. It was that most absolute embarrassing thing. As in “I’m sorry, I dunno what happened”, as in Speedy-Gonzales style… actually, it seems that I proved to myself that indeed I am Mr. Fast. Damned coincidences!

The fact is that you feel so bad in such moments that you can’t describe it in words. I was shocked, ashamed and I just didn’t have the guts to look into A.’s eyes. I was feeling her – she was ready to start laughing, she was ready to grab the phone and tell her friends, she was ready to ask questions or just go away. Anyway… one thing is certain: no girl in the world can imagine what goes through a man’s mind and heart when something like that happens. When stuff you don’t talk about happens. When stuff we don’t like to admit is true… that’s the real deal with Gentlemen don’t tell. And it sucks.

But, to end this on a lighter, happier note, it just got to me: I should’ve told her “It’s your fault, biatch! You and your stupid three dates rule! You see how close I was to explode into my pants?” And then we would’ve laughed and gave it another try. Or not. But since I was inside and kind of did my job, she counts. Beat this!

Jul 24, 2008

It comes a time when your luck disappears... that time is now!

Ever since I started my Girl Quest I was very lucky – I’m not a charmer, I’m not a real flirt, I’m not a ladies man. Yet, I have managed to score far more chicks than I or anybody else would’ve expected. I was starting to get the feeling the scoring chicks is actually something so easy or something I’m so good at that I should become some kind of relationship guru or whatever. The truth is that I’m far, far from something like that. And I’m running out of luck, too.

Just as I was supposed to, I went out to meet with P. – she insisted I shouldn’t come and pick her up – so I took the table, ordered the drinks and waited for her, creating all sorts of scenarios in my mind on how the night will go: each and every one of my scenarios ended with the two of us at my place, in my bed, doing the wild thing. I was ready. She was going to get IT.

Or not.

When she arrived, everything was looking great: she was looking great, her perfume was smelling great, even I was feeling OK and not tired, which is a first for the past couple of weeks when I was over-tired from work. Anyway, we started to talk – nothing important, just the regular talk, the prelude, the “how was your day” sort of things you’re talking first. It should’ve been at least a decent night, with two people feeling great together if it wouldn’t have been for the phone.

You know… THE PHONE. I might be a bit paranoid, but usually girls tell some friend to call them for “something urgent and important” in case they don’t like their date. That something happened during her date with me, apparently, because somebody called her, she acted pretty surprised and told me she really has to go. Of course, I offered her my help and said I’ll go with her, but she refused. “It’s something personal,” she said. “I’ll be back”.

Every time I hear that line I think Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator and it doesn’t sound great. I was sure she was not going to come back, but I decided to wait just a bit more – about 15 minutes, just as long as it took me to finish my beer and feel horrible all alone in the crowded pub. Then I called her and the rest was as expected: she was terribly sorry, but she was almost certain she was not going to comeback, so I’d better go home and we’ll meet again. Yeah, right! I just don't understand why she had to do it during our third date... did she keep trying and hoped to get something out of me and I was unable to comply?

And I don’t understand why I am so unlucky. Can things change over night – from the luckiest guy in the world to the most sorrow? I only seem to meet girls who seem to be attracted by my looks/personality/whatever, but then they run away. Does my breath smell bad? Am I actually a horrible person to be around with, the ugly duck, the boring fellow? I have no idea, but things are going wrong. As in horribly wrong and I don’t know why.
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UPDATE: Screw that! I’m not that ugly, after all. I have just posted this entry and P. called me, saying she’s sorry and that if I want she can come and meet me. I told her I’m home, she seemed to agree to come here. She said she’ll tell me about her problem, but I don’t really care, as long as thing are finally as they seem to be: in my favor! I’m going to pick her up. Hopefully, there won’t be a second update where I’ll cry for being dumped again. :)

Jul 20, 2008

I see girls, they don’t see me

OK, I am exaggerating a bit here – girls do see me and some of them even allow me (what an honor!) to flirt with them for five minutes before they get bored. The thing is that they don’t really want to see me and I’m not at all lucky to find that right girl searching for a one night stand – ever since O. came into my life for a second, all my girl quest kind of went crazy. I have to talk to her or something, to make the curse go away :D.

Back to the last night – I tried. I tried hard and I got nothing (well, I got a phone number from a girl who was looking just a bit better than my grand grandmother – she was the last girl I tried to get, it was late, I was desperate, but as soon as she started to react positively to my flirting I understood what I had done and stopped. Got her number, though and I’ll never use it). Probably because I have set my standards too high again.

Honestly, now – everybody can sort girls into two categories: the ONS-ready and the hard to get ones. And usually, one would not put one type of girl into a different category. And I can’t help but ask myself – why are the hard to get ones so... hard to get? You see them wearing their siliconed boobies into the most expensive top, you see their little pierced nose going higher and higher, you see their eyes searching for a millionaire, while sipping from an expensive cocktail they don’t even have money to buy... The type of girls who invest into their own beauty just to attract other investors. The bank-girls. Black holes. Or whatever. These are hard to get not because they are special, not because they are obscenely beautiful, not because they are too smart (because they’re not!) – but because they have a plan and they’re following it no matter what, day after day, night after night, until they succeed and another one takes her place. And so on.

These girls are unapproachable – unless they can sniff your very expensive perfume, take a look at your golden watch and see a big bulge in your pants (your wallet filled with cash, that is) they won’t even talk to you. They will ignore you, because they think they are better. Well… this type of girls who believe they are better just because they got the looks and prefer to suck it for money and not because they really care about a person… these girls drive me mad. That’s why I try to get them and teach them a lesson: they are nothing. Unfortunately, I try to much and I manage to do nothing. Lol.

This does not mean, however, that I lost everything. No, I am at least one of the fewest “unworthy” guys who try to get them. I will be one of the even fewer guys who will actually get them and teach them the lesson they deserve to be taught. But, until then, I have to accept the fact that they don’t see me. That, for them, I am still worthless and pathetic and, no matter how smart my lines are, how funny I am or just how damn hot I am, I’m not what they’re searching for. I’m the invisible man, but they’ll see :)

Jun 10, 2008

Feeling Emo

Being, acting or just feeling emo is not something I really enjoy doing. Honestly, it is something I consider lame. But emo is exactly how I feel like now. Because it’s Tuesday and I still had no other experiences following my quick stupid adventure with C. And the strangest thing is not that I am too ugly, the girls keep saying no or anything similar. I am just too lazy – I don’t do anything. I don’t walk down the street and tell girls they are beautiful. I don’t ask girls if they want a ride, if I’m in my car. I just suck. I am a poor little fellow that can do nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. I’m just pathetic. A poor soul who’s never going to date again. Heh. I’m such an EMO!

PS: No, really now! I am NOT emo!

Jun 8, 2008

Waiting for progress

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away… Neee, I’m just bragging with my musical knowledge. Heh. Last night was strange. Just strange and nothing more. And I have to credit the five beers I drank for that.

I got no chick last night. I saw quite a few lovely ladies, I would’ve loved to take all of them home, but I was (once again) just too stupid. I am not at all good at these sorts of things. I totally suck when it comes to women and there seems to be no fast cure for me. Maybe that previous plan of mine might help, but I totally doubt it. However, I am sure that my salvation will come. I’m a lucky person, you know?

The truth is that C. called me while I was at the club. She probably thought I was just being an a*shole the other day, so she allowed me to re-think the whole situation. It’s just an unfortunate timing, I could say: she wants a relationship; I want revenge on all females. Otherwise, I would’ve given it a shot… But since the situation is different, I have to keep searching.

No… allow me to rectify the whole thing: I have to insist, flirt non stop, and DO something. Searching is for losers. I need action. Yet… last night I did nothing. I just looked. Scanned. Searched! Saw the girls, did nothing, lost them forever. I will never see them again, I will never know if I could’ve been in a foreigner’s bed now, checking my second successful date on the list. Oh, well… at least I got completely drunk (I get drunk quite fast, unfortunately) and forgot about the mss I find myself into...

And now, I will go for a short walk. At least 20 minutes I will randomly walk on the streets, looking for single girl and I will hopefully be able to tell them “You’re beautiful”. Just like that!

Jun 2, 2008

Sad..

Really, moments like this one here are not something you’d like to remember. I want to forget it. I want to FORGET!!!

It’s not about the quest anymore, it’s just about me. I am destined to fail. To be a looser and never be able to date a girl (my quest is clearly something utopic, if I can use that word…). I feel horrible. Sad.

She did not come. I have waited, sipping that obscenely expensive coffee. She didn’t come.

She did not answer her phone. I kept calling like a loser, but she did not answer. She knew she had a date with me, she could’ve just picked up the phone and say “Sorry, loser! I’m not coming anymore, I’m on the Moon now”. But she didn’t have the decency to do that. C. was the worst start possible.

And when I think about the fact that I was happy, excited, full of hope…

Now I’m sad.

Random song. Everly Brothers – Dream, Dream, Dream. That’s all I can do now. Unbelievable. I’m a loser.