My Girl Quest

Showing posts with label plan. Show all posts

Jun 14, 2008

The great pretender

I’m a sucker for evergreens, even though I completely dig today’s music. But I have the feeling that it has to be an oldie if you want a quality love song. Still, this video is far from being what one would consider a “love song”, but I needed an introduction to the post, you know?

The thing is that right now this is exactly what I am (no, not a song, Watson!): I am the great pretender. Whenever I see a girl, I instantly think “My Girl Quest” and start to create imaginary scenarios of how things will be after I say “Hi”. The problem is that I always get carried away by this scenario-building thing that the “Hi!” part happens too late – usually when the girl is already gone from my life, forever.

But I keep pretending. I keep lying I’m a flirt, I’m a good date, I’m a guy who had and still has all the girls in the world… I keep pretending and the girls seem to have a radar for that. Otherwise, I can’t understand why My Girl Quest ain’t going as planned.

The problem is that things don’t look too well atm and that can only mean one out of two things: I’m either a bad “pretender” or I have a completely wrong target.

I have always opted for the girls with brains (as every sane male probably does), I have always preferred those who can say a phrase without speaking about make-up or mascara, I have always loved a girl with the sense of humor. But these girls are smart and they seem to sniff at me one second and say: oh, you’re just a pretender! And I waste my time. And this is something that turns my quest into a impossible one – 2 girls in 2 weeks is awfully underachieving!

So, starting today, I will go for the silly/naive type of girls. At least for them I can be the great pretender.

Jun 7, 2008

To do list

Survival of the strongest. Or the fittest. That’s the deal right now. I need a side-plan, a kind of “To do list” I have to check if I really want to succeed in changing my life. Here are the solid facts:

For 20 minutes, EVERY day I will walk on the streets of my beautiful city and tell random girls they are beautiful. Just like that and especially if they are not! This will probably give me no dates (but many punches and curses, probably), but at least I will find it really easy to talk with other girls in clubs. Stupid plan?

I will never honk nice girls I see on the streets. That’s absolutely rude, that’s something truckers do. However, each time I will find myself stuck into traffic and I see a girl passing by, I WILL have the guts to open the window of my car and ask if she needs a ride somewhere.

I will do my best to take AT LEAST one picture of the girls I’m going to date. Things should happen really quickly and I completely doubt I will have too many memories of them in 3-4 years from now. And an image tells you more than 1000 words, right?

In my instant messaging software I have about 60 girls living in the same city I do. I don’t know how they got there but I must start talk to each and every one of them, no matter if they are married, committed or gay. I need to have lots of options available just in case. (Just a side-note: Yeah, I’m talking about the girls I don’t know IRL!)

I will burn all the pictures I have with M. Yes, I mean ALL of them – including this framed one I still keep here on my desk...

Only if I manage to check all the things on this list I will be able to say that I have a new life. It’s all fair in love and war, right? And I’m not planning to start a war, so… Sorry again, C! You’re the first and last girl in my life who’s going to hear these words.

Jun 5, 2008

And the secret is...

Following that quite outrageous movie I saw, I kept surfing Youtube, thinking about my “problems”. And I did realize one thing: maybe it would be best at the moment to lower the standards... a lot! I shouldn’t only go after, or wish to get (if I am to be honest) the most beautiful chicks in the club. I should pay more attention to the fatty in the corner, the one which was sent on Earth with only one purpose: to die a virgin! This way I would do a greater good to myself (by scoring) and to herself (by allowing her to taste The Man). So, yeah, I am sure that is what I have to do: keep my standards low and only raise them when I start moving like I did back in the good ol’ days.

Yeah, I know… it sounds (and it is) completely pathetic. No real man lowers his standards. Well… I just did it. Even though nobody wants to help me, I still have to do it!

Jun 4, 2008

And the plan is...

Really now, planning is a difficult thing to do, especially when you’re at work. Horrible. Anyway, here’s my emo-ish situation:

I have 360 days to score 100 chicks. This means that by Saturday I must have a first “victim”. The con’s: I am shy. I haven’t been on a date for roughly 5 ½ years now. I am shy. I spend 8 hours per day at work. And, yeah, I am shy.

I’m shy.

My job. This is the biggest deal breaker. Of course, when I started this bet, I did not take it into account. There are only six female employees working there and it wouldn’t be the smartest thing in the world to screw one of them then dumping her. Pro's: I could fraternize with them, gain their trust and somehow make them ask me out with their group. They might have other single female friends and that could become my chance to keep everybody happy. Especially myself.

I’m shy.

I have absolutely no help. Even worse, the only two persons who know about my quest are a) still laughing at me (my friend, D.); b) completely against it and consider this whole deal the utmost idiocy (a girl I chat with).

I’m shy.

So, things are not looking great. I have already failed twice in two days. One girl invited me to a date to never show up and completely disappear, the other was a missed hit from the start. And I don’t have anybody to support me. Which means that’s the first thing I have to get: support. I hope I’ll be able to do it via this blog. Real life would kind of be against the rules of the bet.

Second, I need to set my areas straight and maximize my flirt chances. Eight hours per day are spent at the office so most of my day is dead time. However, I will be very friendly with the six ladies and hopefully they will give me access to some of their friend. It’s a long shot, though and very unlikely, but it is much more than what I have now.

Then, there is the trip to work and back home. This is again very unlikely to give me the chance of scoring. You need big balls in order to pickup a girl on the street and I don’t have them. However, I can still look for potential targets. Maybe I manage to find a few girls that share the same route as me. Maybe I can find some common things with others – one may never know. Still, this is, again, a long shot. And I need something like… right now!

I have the evenings. But usually I get home really tired from work and until I eat and take a shower it is already a bit too late. And this is the biggest problem. I can’t go to clubs during the week and that’s a big loss. I will try to go to the pub as often as possible, though. It is close and girls are always present. Starting tomorrow I’ll become a pub regular.

And, finally, there are the weekends. I will have to spend each and every night in clubs and it is a must to get at least one girl per night. If I get good enough with this whole flirting thing, I might as well get two girls per night. And, boy, that would be great (both for me, my ego and my sexual life, but for the bet, too)! I will also spend the mornings “searching” the parks. If there is a girl sitting on a bench, in a park, Saturday or Sunday morning, she definitely has nobody to share her bed with. And she will gladly accept me – her savior, her prince on a white horse. That should work!

And this would be my plan. The very short version of it, of course – I still have a few secrets… secret, you know? I spent all day thinking about that. It became an obsession and every day without scoring makes it even harder. Oh, well… I am 100% sure it will be OK, in the end. I will win. I have to.

Jun 3, 2008

I need a plan

Sitting here in my room, all alone and feeling completely strange, thinking about all the nice days I’ve spent with M… it makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. It makes me sad, to be honest, but there is also a fire burning deep inside me. A fire that is ready to explode (or just make me implode) and say “Go for it! Do it!”

I’ve always was the kind of person that just went for it and hoped for the best. The same happened with this bet and things are looking as bad as possible. And, even though everybody seems prepared to prove me wrong, I am not a loser!

I need a plan. I need a simple plan, beginning with “I am here” and ending with “I will get here”. That’s the easy part. I already know that. However, I need the route, too. That’s tough. That’s difficult. But I’m going to do it, nevertheless. I don’t care about anything else right now: I need a plan. Because this, what I have here, now, is not my life. I won’t allow myself to get old in a front of a computer, drinking beer all the time and getting morbidly obese. I am young and I’m going to date. Meet girls, stop being shy, become a macho or whatever. A stud, yeah! I’m going to screw every girl that meets me and dump her next morning, cold blooded. That’s what I am going to do!

But I need a plan. I really need one. Any help is really, really welcome. Honestly

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Image credits: piperreport