Aug 13, 2008

Gentlemen don’t tell

There are some things a guy should keep for himself. There are accidents, stuff like that, things that can completely screw up your life (or, if you’re SMART enough, they can provide some good fun for you). Anyway, the idea is that sh*t happens. And all these “accidents” that happen along your lifetime just add up, sum up and eventually manage to drive you mad, no matter if you made fun of them or not. Because, generally, you don’t make fun of them. You can’t tell about this stuff to your friends – and it’s understandable. Gentlemen don’t tell. Period.

Because some things are made to be kept secrets. Or... ?

Last night, happy and excited, I found out that A, my latest flirting extravaganza, really meant it with the three dates rule (and, no matter how stupid I consider that idea or concept or whatever, I’m not going to talk about it right now). Anyway, the fact is that we were sharing my bed, cuddling and kissing, whispering and caressing each other – having fun and, all in all, we were getting ready to do itas they do it on Discovery channel”. And then it happened: Badda Bing!

My body, my flirting king body rejected me and told me to go to Hell, after promising me the moon and some extra. Most unfortunate is that A. also promised me a looot of things (“I’ll do this and that and that, too”). Anyway… the idea is that everything was destroyed in just a couple of seconds… MAYBE a minute. Badda Bang!

Because I finished. I was done. “Oops”-like. “WTF-was-that?”-like. Badda Bing and no Boom Boom Boom. You get the idea. It was that most absolute embarrassing thing. As in “I’m sorry, I dunno what happened”, as in Speedy-Gonzales style… actually, it seems that I proved to myself that indeed I am Mr. Fast. Damned coincidences!

The fact is that you feel so bad in such moments that you can’t describe it in words. I was shocked, ashamed and I just didn’t have the guts to look into A.’s eyes. I was feeling her – she was ready to start laughing, she was ready to grab the phone and tell her friends, she was ready to ask questions or just go away. Anyway… one thing is certain: no girl in the world can imagine what goes through a man’s mind and heart when something like that happens. When stuff you don’t talk about happens. When stuff we don’t like to admit is true… that’s the real deal with Gentlemen don’t tell. And it sucks.

But, to end this on a lighter, happier note, it just got to me: I should’ve told her “It’s your fault, biatch! You and your stupid three dates rule! You see how close I was to explode into my pants?” And then we would’ve laughed and gave it another try. Or not. But since I was inside and kind of did my job, she counts. Beat this!

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5 comments:

Phone Girl said...

uhhhh, hmmmm, I don't know what to say....except, better luck next time..lol. I want to be comforting shoulder but it's kinda funny. Well she does count so you can try again(if she lets you) or move on to the next quest......here's a kiss for your self confidence *MUAH*

Mr. Fast said...

Heh... thanks for the kiss. I really hope that helps :d

netta said...

uh. well, yeah.

hmmmm.

some women would consider such quickness an asset.

nope, not one of them myself, but i've heard they're out there.

chin up (and whatever else, heh) soldier. at least it works!

TOPolk said...

Haha, it happens. It's happened to all of us. No biggie. Shake it off and move on to the next conquest.

Like one of my pals says in moments like this (and it looks as if you've adopted his theory) -- "at least I was in there."

sheila sultani said...

When this happens to me I like to think it is because I am just so hot that my guy couldn't help himself. (that's what you need to tell her)