My Girl Quest

Jun 1, 2008

Smashed, Squashed

Well… last night’s happenings are something I could call a bad start. Horrible start. Inability. Sad and pathetic. I have a lot of work to do now, that’s a sure thing!

I went to the club together with D., my only friend who knows about this bet, convinced by the fact that clubs are the best places where dudes like me should find easygoing girls and score. For me, it was completely false. Pure failure. I felt rusty, old, outdated – an alien, a person out of this world. A STRANGER.

To sum things up, I have tried to get my hands on… exactly 1 (ONE!) chick. There were tens of single girls there, yet I was afraid. Shy. Not ready. Mr. Fast the Unready. That should be my name.

So… back to the club. I was feeling a bit nervous, so I said it would be better if I started with a cocktail – you know, to make things a bit easier in the future. The bartender gave me the pinkish glass and said “Here you are, girl!” and I just knew it wasn’t going to be my night. I drank the cocktail. And two beers. Then, I wasted about 20 more minutes encouraging myself: “You can do it! You can do it!” Only then I had the guts to start dancing.

And who would’ve thought that finding a date is impossible in a club? My friend, D. certainly didn’t (but, hey! at least he had some great time making fun of me afterwards).

I noticed this girl, it seemed like she was looking at me. She wasn’t beautiful – a bit fat, dancing something that looked more like an African tribal dance, but she was OK. You gotta start somewhere. So, thanks to the ingested alcohol, I managed to get close enough to her, dance around and prepare the way for my opening line. My heart was like “Bang! Bang! Bang!” and I was starting to get very dizzy. My shirt was all wet and only God knows why I was so afraid.

Only when she probably had lost the last bit of interest in me, I finally had the guts to say something. “Hi,” I said and probably my face was so red and stupid that the girl laughed and turned away. Imagine that! I am pathetic. I wasted an entire night just to say “Hi” to a girl that laughed at me. It’s hard to get reborn. To start your new life. To understand dating, to understand what dating means, to get your skills back. But I’m not giving up. I will turn all things around.