Jun 1, 2008

Pickup Lines

Really, I'm not yet desperate. But a bit of help is always great. So I have decided to check a few websites and get some inspiration for a few great pickup lines. Hey! I’m a man in need! Not to mention I haven’t done this for a looong time. So, please, stop laughing!

Because the real reasons to laugh are the lines themselves. If there is something they say, that is: “You’re hopeless if you are here now.” Here are a few random examples of pickup stupidity I found on that website:
  • My love for you is like the universe...neverending! (Come on, that’s lame! How could you madly love a person you don’t know???)
  • Baby, you are everything I never knew I always wanted. (It’s obviously not something to say after a few drinks. And, even if you manage to say it right and flawlessly – what girl would buy such a crap?)
  • Girl, your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice so that I can run around all over you. (Result: Slap! Kick! “Policeeee!”)
  • I'm like a computer game, you can play with me all day long! (Girls DON’T play, honestly. Even more, they generally run away if they hear “computer geek”)
  • I think you got a little food on your lip.. here let me lick it off for you. (Yuck! Really. YUCK!)
  • When I saw your face I thought I died and went to heaven” (Come on, now, that’s not a pickup line, that’s Brian Adams singing!)
  • Hey baby you plus me equals we. (Oh, my god! I’m either way too old, or this list was made by dudes under 12. There’s no hope left in the world.)

Honestly, now. If you ever want to know how NOT to pick up a girl, just visit a pickup lines website. I know I am hopeless at the moment and my word doesn’t mean jack, but just read these lines (and, trust me, 99% of them are like that or even worse). Still, I might just have something. The one in a billion chance:

  • Hey, how’s it going? Do you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute

Finally something I liked. I will use it tonight. And, after that I promise to myself that I will be original. Pickup lines really suck. Hope she’ll say yes. Whoever she is.


Image credits: jilliansjournal

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