Jul 30, 2008

Five things that piss me off

I am great at making lists – much better than flirting, dating or doing girls, unfortunately, but a man gotta have his strong points, right? Unfortunately, mine is making lists. Usually, I make list which just exists – lists of “To do’s” (I never manage to do the girls on that list :D), “Should’ve done” (I have nothing to do about these girls, but at list I can keep count of my failures) and so on. You get the point...

Today was a pretty crappy day for me, from many different points of view. Actually, I’m quite pissed of and, in order to calm down, I’m chewing on my leg, while poking my butt with a leather whip. Yuck! No, actually I’m doing nothing but writing. LISTS!

  • I. pisses me off the most – she can’t understand why can’t we tell everybody we have a relationship. Let me tell you, sweetie: because WE DON’T!!!
  • P. pisses me off because she doesn’t want to have sex. I have to work for that, I have to be tender, tell her sweet words and lose precious time. Not to mention the fact that the first letter of her name, P, is a strong reason enough to piss anybody off.
  • I am unable to flirt. And whenever I do manage to spit a good line or do something smart, I am later proved that I was actually thinking with the bulge in my pants. And that fellow down there ain’t smart, let me tell you!
  • I didn’t watch a porn movie for ages. I have just realized that and it pisses me off like hell. Honestly, now! Guys my age should watch an adult-rated movie every now and then, at least for understanding that these movies and real life barely have anything in common.
  • The fact that My Girl Quest is getting close to being a total failure. I have no more chances to follow my plans and screw 100 chicks in one year. That’s impossible (unless, of course, there will be a last-day orgy including me and 50 other girls but, yet again, I should read the 4th reason)
  • As if anybody (except Tom Cruise or whatever) cares about that, for a few days now I only see Scientology adds on my blog. How do you turn such things off, they drive me crazy! (And I thought religion should inspire peace... :D)

All these things suck and piss me off. I’m angry today. I need a massage. Oh, God! I need a girl, too. It’s one of those days when you do something stupid. I’m still trying to guess if I should call I. or P. to my place.

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Phone Girl said...

I can calm you down, email me and I have a present for you...or two, or maybe even three presents. hahaha

Prisqua said...

I would go on a date with you... but for obvious reasons....
Cheer up honey

Mystery Man said...

I feel your pain, dude! Even though I'm not single, I remember those days (and sometimes miss them). The chase is better than the hunt. Let me tell ya!

Mr. Fast said...

Thank you all for the kind words. I've cooled down a little now and I'm better. Every person has their bad days every now and then :)